You Are Capable Of More Than You Think
Good morning fuckers.
If you’ve tried to get fit in the past but failed, then you’re in the best possible position to try and succeed this time. It’s too easy to become disillusioned by past failures. Each time you fail you gain experience and knowledge about yourself. If you apply that insight into your next attempt at bettering yourself, then you’ll have an even greater chance of success.
When I was first trying to lose weight I was disillusioned by the statistic that only 5% of dieters maintained their weight loss for 5 years. I thought I was doomed to fail as I had zero willpower, but here I am in 2016 at a healthy weight.
Similarly, I’ve tried giving up alcohol countless times in the past and rarely ever made it past a month. It was beginning to feel hopeless and I was close to surrendering to a life of binge drinking and regret.
I’m now 3 months dry and in the process of building myself back up as a stable man. In all the hopelessness I felt throughout 2015 I’ve finally proved to myself that I am capable of making better choices. All it took was to try one last time.
The half marathon challenge to me is a lot easier than coping with feelings of shame and guilt from the past. When I’m running a half marathon, I know that the discomfort will eventually stop. I see the mileage increase on my watch little by little. When I’m in a depressive state, there is no guarantee that the pain and misery will ever go. It often carries over into my nightmares and that’s infinitely worse than a little joint pain.
In the past, my cure for that was to reach for strong beers or cider to drown out the misery. I’d then black out, do something stupid and bring even more pain into my life. Alcoholism seems to be a way that depression manifests itself to me. I drank to feel better…..because the alcohol itself was making me feel bad! I only broke the depressive cycle when I accepted that I couldn’t go on living that way and that I in fact wanted to live a good life.
If you’re self medicating, you better make sure that medicine is actually fucking working.
I’ve now ran 19 consecutive half marathons in February and I think that anything is possible now. My body has adjusted itself well to the challenge of 92 mile weeks and my mind is almost there too.
I never even dreamt that I could manage 10 back to back half marathons, let alone 19. I’ve proven myself wrong again. Sometimes it pays to let my body do the talking and to ignore the arbitrary mental restrictions I place on myself.
We can choose to either be our own worst enemies or our own strongest allies.
My last 3 weeks of half marathons.