Why Being Alcoholic Helps You Be A Runner Too.
Hi cunt. Hope you aren’t dying. And if you are, no more taxes for you in a few weeks. Chin up.
Onto today’s topic. Running and alcoholism. First a question I’ve been asked a lot.
How do you know if you’re an alcoholic or not?
It all depends on your own interpretation. It’s better to think of it as a drink problem. Drink comes in units. As do problems with your drinking. . Little problems with your weight because of drink. Little units of problems at work. Issues with your emotional state. Issues with your reputation caused by boozing. The habits you develop around drinking. It all builds up. Too easy to think of an alcoholic as the hilarious street case who declares holy war with Special Brew on trees and cats.
Alcoholism is much more insidious than that and a lot of the time you can’t tell you have it until it has you.
So lay off the Merlot and have a wank. Or if you need a Merlot to have a wank, then you’re definitely alcoholic. I needed a drink before I could go into a barbers. I am very particular about cunts touching my head.
Here are some reasons why us alcoholics are well suited to running.
- The hangovers give runners remarkable emotional resilience. If you can survive a bad hangover you can easily get through a 20 miler.
- The hopelessness created by alcoholism when fully realised and accepted can be transformed into a determination to escape the pit you’ve created for yourself. This helps your stamina.
- Running can form part of a daily ritual that can keep you on the right path. Today I have the choice of running and not drinking or not running and drinking. When I start to drink I will initially have the choice to run and drink but eventually over time the drink will win and I will stop running.
And shit like this happens again..
- Running helps with the excess mental energy we have to deal with. It’s good to shake off the tension rather than trying to drink it off. That can lead to fun suicide missions on social media where you burn up your feed and your reputation like a wee comet.
- Alcoholics tend to be adventurous at heart. It can be difficult to replace the ‘thrill’ of those alcohol induced antics at first. But they can be replaced with cross country trail running which helps me at least.
- Alcoholics can often feel out of control amongst their thoughts and in their own lives. Running gives a degree of control even if it’s illusory.
- Alcoholics like to test their limits. When you’re actively drinking you are testing the limit of your liver and the limit of the patience of those around you. When you’re running you’re testing your own self imposed expectations of how far you can run. Just as with rock bottoms you can always go lower. With running you can always go further.
- Running can act as a good anti depressant. It’s the opposite of alcohol which depresses your nervous system and then eventually lowers your mood once the chemical induced serenity dies off.
- Running can become the focus of your vacations instead of alcohol. You come back feeling refreshed when you spend a holiday running. When you spend it drinking then you will always feel like you need a holiday to recover from your holiday.
- Running brings you closer to your goals in life. Drinking takes you further away unless your goal is to become the next Shane Macgowan.