Hello there you fucking cunt. You look spectacular today. Is that your real head?
I’ve been sleeping lots and have been in a shitty mood most of the week but my run streak remains. I did about 270 miles for September which is my 2nd or 3rd best month ever, but it still kinda feels like defeat as I wanted to do 300 miles. Fuck it.
My inner alcoholic has been romanticising the days of drinking. It’s funny how it only brings up the good times. The summer months drinking in the sun. BBQs. Laughter. Vegas madness.
And not the desperation of walking around the back streets of Santa Cruz in Tenerife, swearing at myself in a drunken stupor at how unfair the world is.
And not the months of wild instability after my week long blowouts in Vegas where I’d hate my life and have a generally shitty attitude and wonder why I was like this.
I’m not giving into it. It can go and fuck itself. Drinking just makes everything worse.
I’ve disabled ads related to alcohol on my Facebook but I’m still getting the odd one through which fucking annoys me. Each one is designed to plant a fucking seed in my mind and I’m not having it. Bombay Sapphire have been targeting people who like ‘Travel’ with their most recent campaign and I find it fucking inappropriate, especially considering I’ve disabled these ads already.
I respect that people drink. These cunts don’t seem to respect that I don’t. So I went onto their Facebook page to voice my concerns.
I’ve been trying to create a vision to get me through all this silliness. This is it.
I want to be sober. I want to be my own boss. I want to be able to live anywhere I want on the planet and work from there. I want to have self respect. I want to make peace with the past. I want to excel at what I do for a living. I want to maintain this run streak.
That’s the vision. Or what I want to create in my life. I don’t believe in karma or the laws of attraction. It’s going to take a lot of hard work.