Ultramarathon Recovery And Post Race Deflation.
I can tell I’m recovering well from a race when I start looking for upcoming ultras. I’m interested in doing the Brecon to Cardiff ultramarathon in February but the mandatory kit list seems to be a bit extreme. You need to bring a fucking hat. I am not the Edge and I don’t plan on ever being him so this race is looking unlikely.
I don’t feel that tired after Country to Capital. I’ve some aches in my legs but that’s normal. I never run through pain. I don’t see any benefit to ‘feeling the burn’ and pushing through the pain barrier.
For the next few days I’m just gonna do a run commute at a slower than normal pace to keep my streak going.
I’m always a little deflated after an event. Races focus my mind on training. When I have no race in sight then the incentives to train and eat properly aren’t there and I lose my way a little.
I notice the fatigue in my mind more than anything.
It becomes difficult to battle compulsive thoughts and everything can seem wrong in my head.
When I’m thinking negatively, I eat to take my attention away from the discomfort but it only grows. When the sadness and anxiety is there I’d do anything to escape it. That’s why I drank.
I need to forgive myself for all the stupid drunken shit I got up to. I did not drink to get into arguments and fights. I drank to try to cope, but it obviously didn’t work. There’s nothing wrong with trying to cope. Alcohol just doesn’t stand-up as a coping strategy.
Over time it increases the sadness and anxiety and that leads to bitterness and resentment. Leading to more alcohol abuse to cope with the increased anxiety.
I know that races are just distractions but they are healthier ones than alcohol. It’s easy to think that by completing a new challenge you will somehow come out of the experience as an enlightened man. You pass the finish line and nothing changes. You feel disappointed. You try again.
You start to think that there’s something wrong with you.
You self medicate to stop feeling wrong.
The medication makes you feel abnormal.
Then you’re even further away from where you wanted to be.