The Pain Of Trying To Lose Weight That You’ve Regained
Know what’s fucking demoralising?
Trying to lose the weight you’ve regained. All last week I was pigging out in preparation for completing the Isle of Wight Challenge. Then on the Sunday after the event I spent all day feeling sorry for myself and eating Wispa from the Travelodge vending machine.
I spent at least £18 on Wispa in 24 hours whilst watching the Snooker on a shitty 18″ LCD television.
Now I’m bloated and all pissy like a hormonal cat with a sore back.
I lost control of my weight on the week I went back to Northern Ireland this time last month. I started running faster but for shorter intervals and slowly the weight crept on. I’m up at least 3kgs in a month. That’s why I had to start the challenge of recording a calorie deficit each day. I need to learn from April and get back in control again.
I’m self conscious now of my flab. I’m constantly pulling my shirts down to ensure my gut is covered. I’m back to always wearing a coat indoors. This time last month I was feeling great! It’s frustrating but I’ve been in this place before and I’ve succeeded in losing the weight again. I shouldn’t have to keep losing the same weight. I want to be in a new place, not refighting yesterday’s battles.
When I’m eating I need to remember the discomfort I am feeling now and not the deliciousness of whatever is going into my mouth. It’s a setback as this year I’ve been mainly moving forward. If I’m not making the conscious decision to move forward then I’ll roll backwards.
I don’t want to have to go back to fat camp again in the Algarve.
Part of the reason why it’s so difficult to get back on the dieting bandwagon after some time off is because of weight gain. If you put so much effort into losing the weight initially then any attempt to shift the weight again will seem futile. What will happen if you lose it and gain it all again?
Day 2 of 31
|Calories in||Calories out||Deficit|
I didn’t eat any whole foods today. I covered the 3 main food groups, chocolate, brownies and Fruitella. Just obscene.