The Fear Of Death And Running – What Ultimately Drives Me.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’ve realised that the fear of dying without accomplishing anything in my life is a massive driving factor with running.
For my most of my adult life I’d achieved little to nothing. Sure I’d managed to secure a degree and a decent job, but at the time neither of those seemed to account for much. I knew this in the back of my mind, it made me complacent and I quickly hit 275 pounds because of it.
It was the on that night on the Prague Bar Crawl that I had an insight into what I wanted – a life where I could mix my love of travelling and adventure with something healthy for once.
That’s when the idea of running the Belfast Marathon 2011 came to my mind and start of all of this running.
One silly idea lead to almost 2,500 miles ran in 18 months. Insane.
You see I’d travelled across Europe (and ultimately to Prague) in 2010 and I got a real taste of liberation. I could go anywhere I wanted and do anything I wanted. I could be who I wanted to be as no-one knew who I was there.
This notion was a game changer. If I could pretend to be a knife juggling schizophrenic from Antwerp whilst in the Czech Republic, why couldn’t I be a runner back home?
I look back on the marathons and half marathons I’ve completed in the last while and feel that a lot more has to come. I don’t want to bore people with stories of the same races over and over again, I want to run hundreds more of these things. I know that it will lead to a life well lived.
Running on a daily basis takes me closer to that dream. It makes taking part in all of these crazy trips races so much easier. When I go out in the morning I don’t sigh or complain, I see it as an investment into the future I want for myself.
I want to travel the world and run in as many countries as I can before I finally expire.
So ultimately that’s why I run. I love going to new places and meeting new people and it will continue on for as long as I’m able to put one foot in front of the other.
Sure I could probably extend my life to 90 by eating nothing but fruit and vegetables, but I’ve no interest in getting that far. I’d end up some incontinent wreck who talks to his shoes and pisses in his bran flakes for kicks.
If I could get to 70 and expire immediately after a marathon and a Pot Noodle, I’d die a happy man.
So what’s my message? Well if you don’t feel like a runner at the minute then all it takes is one thought to change that and it’s within you to do it. You don’t have to get pissed up on Absinthe or cheap Moravian wine to realise what you already are.