The Downsides Of Running Angry
I ran through Central London again but this time I chose the Victoria Embankment and it was nowhere near as stressful as my Oxford Street route last week.
It was a good humoured jaunt. When I was trapped behind oblivious commuters with their Beats on I ran just inside their peripheral vision and sang the Dear Old Blighty song that opens The Queen Is Dead album by The Smiths.
Good to have a pleasant run for once. Running angry can be useful if you need the boost but it definitely comes with its downsides too.
Here are just a few of them.
- Take more risks on roads – The hate makes me feel invincible and this makes me want to take on buses, neo nazis and everyone who offends me and that is almost everyone in Britain right now.
- More stress, not less stress which isn’t why I run – Angry running is rarely cathartic and it makes my eyelids twitch. The fumes of hate are sadness.
- Make all runners look bad by being a cunt – I am not setting a good example when I am being a cunt. Running in the ultramarathon on Sunday taught me that ultra runners are reasonable people who thanked others for holding onto their dogs so they could get past on the towpath. I wanted to shout abuse. Not just any abuse. I had mental images of dogs being tied to concrete blocks at the bottom of the Stort and it almost made me cry. Something deeply wrong there. I’d never do such a thing. I’d use sheet metal instead.
- Lose concentration and lose balance – When I am running angry I often stumble and fall and boot the ground to celebrate. Most of the times I have tripped I have been angry.
- More likely to mouth off at other road users – This includes cyclists who can be very angry people too and they have their silly little GoPro cams they use to shame tossers. I don’t want to be a YouTube sensation after calling one of them an awful dayglo hippy cunt.
- Forget the real reasons why I’m running – Short term retribution trumps my long term goals regardless of the consequences. I can’t run marathons in hospital, behind bars or 6 foot under.
- Paranoid xenophobe when I run angry – Running angry is a good alt-right simulator. Start blaming everyone for my own problems and get needlessly paranoid. See foreign nationals drinking Tatra under a North London underpass and want to ask them for their papers even though I am an immigrant too. This again is not the real me. I saw some Polish guys give a homeless man half a packet of Haribo at Hendon Central one night. It was such a sweet gesture. They woke him up and he looked like he was ready to fucking stab them. When I am running I lose compassion and the rational side of my brain disengages. I would never say anything rude though. If anyone offends me these days I like to belt out a really annoyed “YUMMY!” at the top of my lungs.
- Difficult to run far when angry – Struggle to pace myself and start out too fast. This leads to mental resistance and the run seemingly taking longer in my mind.