Surviving My First Ever Run In London Where The Weather Was Stormy As Hell.
I managed my first ever run in London today. It was 10 miles through some of the worst weather I have ever experienced. I’m still picking hail out of my teeth as we speak.
It was great just getting out into a new area for once. My aim was to try to run to Kingston-Upon-Thames and back but unfortunately got some abuse off a bunch of builders who were fixing part of the pavement on my journey there.
By this point in the run I was so wet that my skin was showing through my t-shirt. The boys in fluorescent jackets obviously thought I was their entertainment for the afternoon so started jeering me.
I turned around before I reached them. I should have just ran at them with rape in my eyes but my legs can’t carry me hard and fast enough to seem like a threat.
I wouldn’t have minded their bullshit if they’d stuffed a £5 note down my ass-crack, but they looked like cheap bastards.
Here’s the run in question.
The positive thing is that I managed to keep on running and survived the worst that London had to throw at me. Here are some tips on how to run when it’s stormy and you’re running in a new place.
Surviving a run when the weather’s shit and you’re fucking lost.
- Don’t blame the weather – For the mid 3 miles of my run I was cursing the Queen and David fucking Cameron for owning a stupid fucking country where it rained so hard. The Queen did not stop her rain for me. I tried kicking the pavement out of frustration and nearly tripped up over my own legs. The Queen laughed.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself – It’s a distraction and it doesn’t help you. You chose to come out running for a reason. Continue on with what you started. Don’t stop running out of self-pity, you’ll just hate yourself all the fucking more and the run won’t be finished any quicker.
- Be wary of running on busy roads when the winds are strong – I had to lean away from the road today as there were several gusts of wind that were so strong they nearly blew me off my feet. I was up on a bridge too. Serious panic ensued.
- Sometimes the wind will always be blowing against you – Again it’s nothing personal. You’ll have an equal number of runs where it’s always at your back. Make the best of any situation that you encounter.
- Ignore all the fuckers who fire abuse at you – Builders, angry men in traffic or other pedestrians. Don’t even bother flipping them the bird. They aren’t worth it.
- Your legs don’t give a shit about the weather – And they will carry you forward. Stop living in your bitchy brain and instead focus on the motion through your legs. Your mind creates problems that don’t exist.
- Sometimes the weather will be that bad that you can’t see even a foot in front of you – When the hailstones were blowing into my face I couldn’t see anything. But I knew I’d reach a point where I’d be running with the wind at my back and I’d be able to see properly again. Until then I slowed down and focused on not wearing like a bastard in front of pedestrians.
- Don’t believe those who say you can’t get any wetter – I thought that too until today when a lorry sprayed me with a shit tonne of water that was lying on the road surface. I’d only just dried my glasses too and now I was back to being unable to see again. Fucking whore. I hope he/she burns.
- Don’t wait for the good weather to come – Especially now in Britain when it seems to be permanently hurricane season here. The temptation can be to wait until Spring to put your running shoes on. By the time the better weather comes around you want to be fit enough to enjoy your running. If you can thrive in bad running conditions then you’ll love running when the climate is better.
- Don’t worry about getting lost – I was running in random directions around a City I don’t know at all well. I didn’t worry. I knew I’d be able to make it back. That’s the beauty of being a runner, you’re never lost for that long as your body is your mode of transport!