Story Time “You Need To Breathe, Bruv”
I thought I’d got my shit together in March. I started a low carb diet and began running again and everything seemed fine. I was losing weight and making progress. Around the same time I was working short term contracts throughout the City and towards the end of one of the last ones I booked myself on a boat trip to Holland.
It was a great trip but I came back feeling really fucking ill. I had the flu for 3 weeks thereafter and I was pretty much stranded as I live on my own and work for myself at the moment.
My mood worsened during that time. I had dreams of running the old routes I used to run in North London but would wake thinking that it was just my mind mocking me.
I happily spent 16 hours sleeping each day as it all seemed too stressful and this carried on for nearly a month.
I woke one morning in a better mood.
I can’t even remember why I woke feeling new.
I watched a video of some daft bastard feeding bird’s seeds out of his hand and it kinda lifted my spirits.
I tidied my room. I swept the place. I even walked up to the Tesco at Angel Road. It was the first time I’d left the house in a fortnight. I caught a glimpse of myself in a store mirror and I didn’t recognise my reflection.
I carried on walking up North towards where I thought Epping Forest was because I wanted to see some wildlife (preferably the birds I watched in the video.)
I remember it taking an absolute age to walk all the way up there and I swore the following onto myself.
“If I ever get back into running, I’m going to fucking run long and slow and fuck all of this minute/mile horseshit.”
Towards the end of my training for the Munich Marathon I finished one of my runs on a sprint completely breathless.
Some man came up to me and said.
“You need to breathe, bruv’.
At the time I wanted to shout back “WHAT WOULD YOU FUCKING KNOW YOU FUCKING HIPPY !?”.
But he was right.
I stopped running in December 2014 because I made it fucking miserable for myself. Running was my escape when I started back in 2010 but in truth at the end of last year it had become something to dread and avoid.
And it was all because I wasn’t giving myself space to breathe.