Shit Might Take A Little Longer Than Planned
Start – Burton
Finish – Derby
I kinda regret taking the break day when I did.
I could have used it today or tomorrow when the weather is to be really hot. It seems like a waste.
I ran just under 20 miles today and it was difficult in the heat. I adopted the tactic of running for 3 miles, stopping and then starting again.
This is the first time I’ve really struggled on this trip. Been living solely in my head for the last 12 hours and it isn’t a brilliantly happy place to be.
When I came up with the time limit of early July it was arbitrary. I didn’t do any maths. As per usual I plucked a figure out of my arse.
I’m going to start taking a more direct route from here. I don’t want to joylessly following A roads but I don’t want to be running bonus miles for the sake of it.
I’m interpreting everything in a negative light at the minute. I don’t want to interpret anything. I’m tired of thinking. I just want to get out there and continue to do something positive.
And I’m struggling to run in this heat and its driving me fucking mad.
I think I’m gonna be running closer to 1100 miles than 900 in this trip. I’m thinking of just removing the time limit altogether otherwise I’ll hate the rest of this. 35 days is a bit tight. 40 days is a bit loose. I just want to keep going North. Fuck thinking.
I’ve put a huge amount of pressure on myself recently and it’s made this weekend joyless. To try to avoid the weather I’ve set my alarm for about 4am but I can never get asleep by that time. Then I start panicking and finally compromise and set it for 9am and then it’s even worse. I long for the days of rising at 11am and running until 8pm.
This trip is about discussing mental health issues and not worsening them. I have many many miles left in my legs and my best is yet to come. It might take a little longer than expected but I’ll get there. I loved the first 2 weeks of this trip. I fucked around and ran in circles at times but that was the point.