Running The London 2 Cambridge 100k For Mind In August
I’ve entered the London 2 Cambridge 100k that takes place at the end of August this year. I think this is the last chance I have to stay fit and keep this blog alive before I give up entirely and become 500lb and housebound. I can’t let it happen! It’s so fucking frustrating that I’ve let it become a possibility.
Anyway I’ll be fundraising for Mind who are a mental health charity here in the UK. Given how fucked up my own mind can be at times I think this is a good cause. I’ll be giving away copies of the paperback to anyone who makes a donation over a certain value on Justgiving once I’ve set the page up.
I’m so fucking embarrassed that I wrote a book about running yet I’ve done so little of it this year. I need to put this to the back of my mind and just get on with it. I’ve tried and failed so many times to kickstart my fitness yet for some reason it hasn’t stuck.
I do feel like a fucking failure and the problem is that I don’t seem to have the energy anymore to pull myself up. It’s a bit of a cunt. That’s why I need to commit to something big to help me help myself.
I’ve been losing weight slowly through a combination of better diet and some exercise but it hasn’t been enough to get me back to where I was last year. I go in the right direction for a while but then something happens and I’m back to the same old shit. Same boring underwhelming excuses.
I’ve been joking about getting a lobotomy on Twitter for quite some time now but I’m being serious. I want to stop thinking and to start doing. If I could take an apple corer to the bad part of my brain it would be great.
I think that’s why I have always been in danger of developing a drink problem. The alcohol gives me a break from my brain but that ‘break’ is bullshit escapism that makes me do stupid shit that I regret and pulls me into a deeper cycle of self loathing.
Drugs are for mugs innit.