Running My First 40 Mile Week Since Brighton And 14 Facts You Probably Didn’t Want To Know About Me.
After the horror of being told by my landlord that I was a big smelly bastard I somehow recovered from the embarrassment of it all and recorded my first 40+ mile week since Brighton.
It is all thanks to two great long runs this weekend.
Yesterday I completed 18.34 miles and today I did 11.7. Neither were particularly fast but it feels great to get the miles in after all of the initial pain.
The downside to all of my weekend running is that I am totally fucking exhausted now.
For that reason I thought I’d instead write something more fun this week. Here are a few facts that you might not know about me. Some of them are about running but most of them aren’t.
1) I wore the same pair of waterproof plastic running trousers for 2 years straight. On every single run. I only threw them out after the Paris Marathon when they were burning into my flesh from the heat. Those fucking things smelled disgusting.
2) I used to be a very angry atheist but now I am more relaxed about belief. My religion is staring at the sky whilst drunk. If there is a God then it is Professor Brian Cox. I’m slightly ashamed by how hardline I was in my mid twenties. I kinda gave up on it all when Hitchens died. I was Cologne eating a Kebab pizza at the time when I heard the news. I threw it out the window in disgust.
3) I used to be a Goth. I’d go around a very politically conservative town dressed in PVC jeans, sunglasses and a pirate shirt. So far I’ve only taken 2 beatings in my life which is a fucking miracle. The most memorable incident involved getting hit in the back of the head with a bottle in Lavery’s whilst dancing to Transmission by Joy Division. I had to get my head stapled.
4) I struggled to run half a mile right up until December 2010. My first few runs were from my work to the train station which was just over 0.5 miles. I seriously doubted that I could ever go any further than that. I’d always run in my work clothes and overtake the same old lady who would shout ‘Hiya Matt!’. I’d ignore her because I’m an emotional leper.
5) I didn’t have a passport until I was 26 years old. I hadn’t left the UK or Ireland until July 2010. On my first major holiday I decided to become a marathon runner.
6) I didn’t start drinking until I was 19. I used to be against alcohol and drinking culture especially in high school. Then I discovered the joys of Lambrini. Drinking became boring when I discovered that you could buy Mexican Cubensis at the local headshop for £10. I spent 2003 stoned off my head listening to George Carlin. Great times. That was until the night I was tripping and my mum sent me down to the shop to buy Malteasers for her. I freaked out on the way down thinking that there were neon goldfish trapped in the pavement. I brought her her Malteasers holding them out like I was a cat with a sacrificial mouse. She suspected nothing but I was dreadfully paranoid that she could see through my soul.
7) An Italian man once offered me his breakfast muffin on the plane when he saw that I was crying because of turbulence. I kindly refused but my faith in humanity was restored.
8 ) I totally fucking hated high school. I was separated from my most of my friends so I found it quite difficult to fit in. Only worthwhile thing I learned there was contempt for authority. I still feel very angry about my time there but channel it all into my running.
9) I still don’t know what really triggered my move to London. I was happy at home for the first time in ages but something was pulling me here. I had planned on coming over in November 2013 but I just didn’t have the balls to do it.
10) I am not actually that angry of a person. If I do get frustrated with shit but I try to let out anger quickly and proportionately. With that said, sometimes I do want see people being decapitated by doors on the Tube when they don’t let me off first.
11) I don’t really get injured very often as I’m a lazy runner. I always try to move less when I am running. I dream of one day being able to nap whilst jogging. That would make the miles coast by for sure!
12) I was born with a squint. Basically my right eye was trying to squat in my right eye socket. I got it fixed when I was 3 but have been left with a lazy eye ever since.
13) I have created about 50 websites before and most of them have been miserable failures. My final year project in college was a website where people could create their own religion. It drew a lot of complaints at the time because a) it was shit and b) you could attach sins to your religion and the most common transgression on the site was ‘Masturbation’. This site was visible to all current and PROSPECTIVE students as well as lecturers. For my presentation about my website I brought in 5 loaves of bread and 2 skanky rainbow trout for everyone to eat. It really wasn’t a good fucking idea. Everyone just stared at me like I was a dick.
14) I tried standup comedy at an open night in Belfast once but it was a fucking disaster. I got banned from The Belfast comedy scene after I turned up to a comedy special at the Safehouse Arts Gallery extremely drunk. I heckled absolutely everyone and fell down 5 stairs on my way out. A class act for sure.
15) I do worry that I’m repeating myself on this blog a lot which is why I decided to go for something different tonight. I hope you enjoyed it.