Running A Half Marathon But Still In The Wrong Head Space.
Oh heavens you cunt!
I want to enter more ultramarathons but they must not be technical ones and preferably point to point ones. I don’t want to try Green Man again as it doesn’t make sense to run a lap of Bristol. At least to me anyway. If it was Bath to Bristol along a towpath, then that’d be good.
I’ve just said that and I’m thinking of entering the Isle Of Wight challenge tonight. It’s a LAP of an ENTIRE FUCKING ISLAND. No idea what I’m fucking talking about.
I did a half marathon tonight and it reminded me of my 29 half marathons challenge.
Those multiple back to back distances seem impossible until you actually try them. I thought Eddie Izzard was talking shit when he was explaining that after 10 days his body wanted to do the mileage, but it’s true. It’s amazing what we can adapt to if we simply try. The biggest barrier is what we consider to be possible in the first place.
That’s why I want to do the John O’Groats to Lands End thing. I’m constantly in a battle with my brain to stay afloat at times. Life is going well but for the last few days I’ve sunk into something of a mire. In the shower earlier I was thinking “shit it’d be nice to shower with 4 pint cans of Stella in here”.
Yeah. Sure it would. And then to wash my old ball bag in Lambrini.
I want to keep achieving things I could never achieve whilst I was out “in the wild”. The dark side of me wants nothing more than to go over to the Bulgarian mini-mart, buy 2 litres of Tonic Wine, get the bus down to Dalston, buy those balloons the men with the beards sell in Shoreditch and then get kicked out of a pub for trying to talk to tables full of strangers.
Then spend the next day completely in darkness ashamed at what I’d done.
Yeah sounds perfect to me like.
Instead I’ve bought tickets to the Spurs game tomorrow. Will play guitar tonight and do some reading and actually go easy on myself. For that half marathon tonight I was kicking the shit out of myself emotionally. It was all the same shit from yesterday’s post.
I can run half marathons easily when my mind is calm but for some reason I just haven’t been in the zone recently.
I think the Country to Capital ultramarathon next Saturday will help. Meeting others always helps me even if I’m a shy reluctant pain in the arse.
Once I’ve proved to myself I can easily do ultramarathon distances this year, then I’ll start running longer and have more 40-50km days.
All the best, cunts.