Running 15 Miles At 5am And How Running Can Improve Your Life If You Are Depressed/Have Depression
After my melodramatic post last night about having no inspiration to run, I got up at 4:45am today and ran 15 miles around town.
I’ve never ran that far before at that time in the morning. It felt good.
But I won’t lie.
After the run I felt like shit.
I finished my run at 7:25am and in order to commute to work on time. I have to be showered and ready for 7:40am.
Seems reasonable, no?
Reasonable, yes. Only my right tit was haemorrhaging.
Not A+E badly.
But badly enough for me to be squealing in the shower and having to duck to one side to avoid the water from directly landing on my injured nip.
It left me feeling depressed and I got to thinking about how running can improve your life if you’re feeling low but in subtle ways.
How running has subtly helped me when I’m feeling depressed/in that state.
- The people starting out who are reading this silly blog have inspired me to run and write more – I’m amazed and overwhelmed when new runners say they were influenced by my story of by my posts. It’s brilliant. I still post to amuse myself and the thought that other people on the other side of the world are finding it useful is mind-boggling.
- I can finally show the finger to people who thought I was ‘just’ a fat lazy guy in school – It’s not that I live my life to prove my doubters wrong, but I’d be lying if I said that I don’t get some enjoyment when someone I went to school with says ‘you run marathons? you used to be such a slob!”. I still am a slob. I got told off in work for always taking the elevator instead of going up and down a flight of stairs. I’m not lazy these days, just efficient.
- Running has allowed me to also prove myself wrong – Are you really as lazy as you once thought? In 2009 I stopped walking in the street as I was self conscious about sweating so much. I started taking taxis everywhere and it cost an absolute fortune, but I didn’t care as I felt it made life easier as I no longer ran ‘the gauntlet’. At the time I always thought I’d be that way, but I changed that by starting to walk on weekends. Nothing much, 1-2 miles and I built it over the course of a year to running 2 or 3 miles. You can do it too!
- I’m now comfortable to be outside because of running – From the ages of 14-24 I spent most of my days indoors playing Goth music and brooding about how I didn’t fit in with everyone. This tendency carried on until I was 25 and 280lbs in 2009. When I was at my largest I stayed indoors over fear of ridicule from my peers. Now that I run, I make an appearance in public every day and it boosts my spirits (even if it only involves saying hello to another runner/walker or cyclist, I know that I’m better off outside and being open to the world instead of being closed off in my room). No-one worthwhile is out to ridicule you. You can set your own path and your own world on fire, starting now! You need no-one else.
- I’ve gained some self esteem from fund-raising with running – Whilst fundraising for charity can be stressful if you aren’t meeting your targets, I’ve learned from my previous mistakes and set a low goal. Why? Well if you miss your target like I did first time around, you can feel like shit. In my next few attempts I set smaller limits and exceeded them. If you’re contributing money towards your chosen charity it’s a good thing, no matter how insignificant it seems to you.
- Winning your battle with addictions – I still drink alcohol but I’d like to think that I now have it under control. Before I’d use it to drink away feels of anger, sadness and above all, fear for/of the future. Now when I drink I have a bottle of wine and some beer and watch documentaries about the Universe. I’m not religious, but when I watch these documentaries I see my true place in the order of things and relax a little. Until of course the hangover hits the next day and I think “THESE HIPPIES HAVE CONNED YOU AGAIN! RUN 12 MILES YOU SLOB OR EVERYONE WILL DIE!”
What inspires you to run?