On Setting New Year’s Resolutions As A Runner When You Have A Fear Of Failure.
We’re on the eve of the New Year and I feel terrible. The holiday season is all but over and I now find myself in limbo between being irresponsible with my health and adapting back to my old routine.
Despite my initial reluctance to make a New Year’s resolution, I now feel the need to do something just to keep moving.
But Where The Hell Do I Start?
I’m stuck in the mentality where I see so many things that could be better in my life, I get disheartened thinking about where to start.
This is why I hate trying to make sweeping life changes. If I look at where I am now and where I ideally should be in life, I freak out and go back to living a comfortable but flawed life.
I think it’s the same for most people at this time of the year. If you’ve failed to keep resolutions at every other point in your life, then you’ll feel cynical about setting new goals.
It seems you are setting yourself up for failure again and again.
You either have to live up to your failure or return to denial and eat nothing but Cheese for a fucking month.
My old cheesy friend failure
There is definitely comfort being in a rut. You don’t have to deal with any surprises. If you have a negative mindset like I do, then you’ll see the future in a negative manner.
You then refuse to leave your comfort zone as you think it will only get worse.
You then give yourself the permission to slide and that’s where self-pity and jealousy begin.
The future can definitely be better than the present
In January 2010 I set about on a new way of life. At the time I was feeling exactly this way. It didn’t dawn on me that life would be radically different from then on.
Throughout the first 2 years I felt that I didn’t have the strength to live up and face my problems.
But I stopped looking far into the future. I focused on short term goals like eating well and doing exercise on a day-by-day basis. And it worked. Albeit very slowly.
With that in mind I’ve created a personal to-do list for January 2013.
January 2013 To-Do List
- Complete Dryathalon for Cancer Research in January 2013 and raise £100 for charity. This means no alcohol in January 2013.
- Record a dairy of everything I eat in January 2013.
- Lose at least 5lbs in January. I’ll weigh myself every Tuesday starting 1st January and continue until the end of the month.
- Read at least 2 books on running.
And that’s it.
I’ve a long run to do tomorrow of 10 miles to cap off what in truth has been an excellent year.
Hopefully I’ll be in a more positive frame of mind tomorrow.