On Feeling Like a “Phoney” Runner On The Eve Of Two Marathon Runs.
Shit, fucking hell.
It seems like ages since I’ve written here as I’ve only posted twice before the weekend and normally I try to do 3 posts during weekdays.
But in truth I’ve had nothing to say as running has been great of late and I have encountered no cunts or dogs during my runs.
Doubting your existence as a runner.
I think every runner at times considers whether they are a ‘real runner’ or not.
I mean it’s normal to feel like a phoney. It’s natural to feel like you’re only doing this shit for fun and that it’s all worthless.
There are many other runners out there with springs in their legs who seem possessed with passion, desire and most importantly talent.
But talent is a myth. The best runners have reservoirs of desire and then put in the work as it’s their occupation.
As a pretty poor runner you can only gaze through the mist of your own mediocrity and stare on with the “what the fuck are they doing that I’m not” look in your eyes.
And then what?
Well the most important thing is to keep on running.
You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations. If you’re to attain a goal as a runner and want to feel accomplished afterwards, create your own target and then go for it with your own reasons in mind.
To get that fire in your belly, you’ve gotta fake it until you make it. Sometimes.
But most importantly, there’s nothing stopping you achieving it apart from yourself.
I entered Edinburgh again
I’ve been gripped by half marathon fever after Brighton.
I’ve entered the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in Edinburgh, which is only a week after the Paris Marathon.
I did it last year and it was an amazing run. It was only 3 weeks before the Belfast Marathon. and it left me feeling really fucking confident ahead of it.
I then fucked up my training by flying to Portugal and busing it to Spain where I spent 10 days on an insane hot dog and San Miguel binge, gaining 5lbs when I was already overweight.
There will be no hot dog or San Miguel binges until both the Paris and Belfast Marathons are over.
I’m determined to run two good marathons within a month of each other. That’s why tomorrow is extremely important.
It’s only 5 weeks until the Paris Marathon and the furthest I’ve ran so far is 17 miles.
I’m out to run good races in Paris and Belfast and there’s nothing stopping me apart from my own bullshit.
An 18 mile run lies ahead tomorrow!