On Entering The London 2 Brighton 100KM Challenge & Challenging More Inner Negativity.
It’s been a while since I’ve written here but I’m back again. I’m here to tell you that I’ve entered the London 2 Brighton 100km Challenge.
It all seems so unreal and far away at the moment. If I think about it too much I start to freak out.
I’m brought back to the 8 hour mark in my 50k and how it seemed like it was never gonna end at the time.
The 100k is twice that distance.
And I’m arguably in worse shape than I was before the 50k.
Fucking hell Matt.
Still. There’s no need to be negative about this. I will complete it. I will have a holiday after it. I will survive and come back stronger and still not know who the fuck I am or what I’m about!
Vegas and sustained weight gain.
Ever since I’ve came back from Vegas I’ve struggled with my eating.
Everything I see, I eat. The sad thing is that I don’t even enjoy the food. I feel empty and want to fill the void inside.
- Some choose religion
- Others foster a keen sense of national identity
- Maniacs use lots and lots of drugs.
Me? I use Bacon!
What the fuck am I meant to do?
I honestly don’t know. I’ve been riding my luck for quite some time now. None of my runs have been disasters. Even the 50k turned out to be a success as I finished.
But I’m falling into the dangerous habit of overanalysing everything to the point where I think something bad is gonna happen.
This is bullshit.
When has something truly bad ever happened in a race?
Sure, I’ve shit outdoors but that was more of an adventure than a crisis.
Seriously though, why don’t I think that something good is gonna happen? When I look back on all of these races, mostly good things have happened. But I’ve been so wrapped up in my own little bubble that I haven’t realised it until it’s too late.
What’s the point in creating these negative stories in my head? Do they make my life easier or any richer?
No. They strangle my joy and happiness.
I need to take life as it comes and go easy.
I want to continue on with my running first and foremost so I’ve set myself a little goal.
I want to beat my 2012 mileage total in 2013.
Why is this significant?
Well it’s impossible. I have to run 195 miles by the end of 2013 to achieve it. I’m on 1,645.84 miles for 2013 and I ran 1841.65 in 2012.
I know I won’t achieve it but I’ll work towards it and enjoy my running as much as I can.
In terms of my weight gain, I guess some is expected during the holiday season. I won’t worry. I’ll eat healthier and I’ll stop getting down on myself.
The more I run, the easier this will be. I’ve been in this situation before and got through it.
It’s so easy to gain weight back and to just give in, but it doesn’t get any easier the more you slide into self pity. You need to respond as soon as you can.
And why can’t that be now?
Drop the bacon sunshine, and run for your fucking life.