No More Diets. Back To Monitoring Calories In Vs Calories Out And No More Owen Wilson Worship.
I am not willing to continue with wacky diets. I lost most of the weight last month by monitoring calories in vs calories out. High carb, low carb, three bags full carb. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m tired of all those smug keto cunts and their worshipping of that Owen Wilson character who looks like Mr Potato. I can’t take it anymore.
I’m so tired and burned out. I’m also pretty miserable at the minute too. I’ve been toying with the idea of pissing off to Brighton for the weekend but I know I’m just trying to escape myself and I don’t want to do that. Wherever I go, I’m there and that’s my problem. The old option was to down some juice and feel free and happy but that’s bollocks and a lie. I have to work through my perceived problems.
I’m 33 years old, male, heterosexual and white. Since I don’t have any real problems I have to invent ones for myself like ‘OMG I hate low carb’ and ‘I have more than enough money for food, how do I stop myself from throwing all of it down my fat fucking head at once?’
I need to take a step back, return to what I was doing in February and focus more on introducing salad and fruit into my diet. It’s that simple. To maintain my weight I have to eat as many calories as I’m burning. If I run a 10k tonight I can eat about 3,200 calories and stay the same weight. That’s reasonable to me. I need to do that. Complicating it by saying I can only eat 100g of carbohydrates isn’t helping me in the long run.
I am not enjoying running at the minute as I’ve set myself the ridiculous goal of trying to run 100 miles in a week. I always ruin shit for myself by doing this. My new goal for this week is to hit 80km/50 miles. That will constitute a success in my eyes especially if I stay off the sauce and weather this temporary storm.
Every time I try low carb it results in an awful craving for what I can’t have and it turns into a binge once I stop. Am I weak willed for caving in each time? Probably. But I’m fucking sick of hearing about how carbohydrates are a poison. I spent 13 years of my life drinking an actual poison that properly fucked up my life in ways that carbs couldn’t even come close to matching.
Balance, normality and an escape from this siege mentality in my head would be nice. I’m living with a new couple from Scandinavia and they’ve been in the kitchen for 2 hours and I don’t want to go out as it will involve having to speak to them. Feel like smashing at my door with my fists and shouting ‘STOP! ARMED POLICE! GET THE FUCK DOWN!”
I need a laugh. It hasn’t really been a week for laughing. Maybe I will go to Brighton after all.