New Start For Me As A Runner In December.
I’m taking December as a completely new start with running.
Yesterday I ran for the first time since Las Vegas and it was great getting out there again. It was 7 miles around Tottenham and I got cheered on and chased by a Lollipop man. It was great fun but towards the end of the 7 mile run I was fucking struggling.
For a while I thought my running days were finished.
Around the beginning of last month I didn’t leave my room in Tottenham for about 2 weeks. Then I went out to Las Vegas for 9 nights with the idea of writing a lot of the book but all I did was gamble, drink and run. It was good fun but November was really a blur.
I’ve decided that I’m just gonna stick with the shorter races around England and Scotland next year. The idea of testing my limits doesn’t appeal to me at all. We’re led to believe that if you do stretch and test yourself then you’ll always find a better you at the end. Sometimes you find nothing but pure fucking insanity.
I don’t want to go back to the bad old days of being sexually threatened with chainsaws by ex Snooker players. I just wanna be me and enjoy myself for once.
I’ve always opposed the idiots who say that you have to continually progress and run further and faster and it’s all fucking bullshit. After writing the book I’ve come to the realisation that I’m finally happy with who I am. I still get angry at silly shit, but I no longer feel I have to prove myself to anyone.
I don’t have to run at all but I choose to do it as I love it once I’m out there with no expectations. I used to run 15 miles before work twice a week and it didn’t even register in my mind that it was potentially odd.
I started running back in December 2010 to improve my life and it really has helped but the pressure I put myself under this year has taken it’s toll. Moving over here whilst trying to train for a 100k was a disaster. Then I embarked on the sub 4 hour mission from around August whilst really struggling with the book. I’m so glad I got it finished but I’m still reeling from the Munich did not finish. I didn’t run my race for my own reasons. I was trying to be someone else and live up to other peoples expectations.
I was thinking for a while of joining a running club but I don’t run competitively and I hate the idea of teams, colours and frat shit. It goes back to when I was younger and my suspicion of all groups.
I bring myself into disrepute every day so the thought of having to conform and live up to principles of bullshit club rules appeals to me about as much as a hearty boot to the cock.
So yes. No more ultramarathons or crazy challenges for the foreseeable future. But I’m continuing to run and I’m aiming for 200 miles in December just for the fun of it.