My Inspiring Hatred of FitFluential And Some Advice On Getting Out Of A Weight Loss And Exercise Regime Rut.
Hey guys. Confession time. I still haven’t run since the marathon and I’ve did little else but eat Snickers and bitch for the past 12 days.
It’s been a frustrating time personally.
Ever feel frustrated about being frustrated?
I found this wonderful image on Red Wine Runner’s equally wonderful review of the Hoka Highland Fling.
That’s where I’m at and it is my fault for responding badly. I accept full responsibility for being this way. The only way out is to find a recourse and unfortunately mine is hatred.
I’m not gonna let myself be frustrated about being frustrated about being frustrated.
The taboo of negativity
The problem with most fitness blogs is that they teach you how to reach greater and greater heights but never prep you for the point where you start to capitulate inside and it all comes apart at the seams.
You follow their every word, empty yourself of desire, attend yoga lessons, shave your balls and you still enter your personal crisis.
That’s when the shit really hits the fan because you’re out on your own then for being too negative.
You’re too negative man.
You’re meant to just smile more quinoa down and reflect on how much of a little enclave of positive thinking you’ve evolved into whilst the words ‘You’re a fraud’ repeat in your head like the final distress call of air hostesses on a 747 as you brace for impact.
So as I do in times of deep personal crisis I go and read some Fitfluential blogs.
The Fitfluential bloggers are always there for me in my time of need. When I feel numb and am close to drowning under a sea of cheese and despair, I ‘get with the program’ and go Fitfluential.
I love hating the Fitfluential ambassadors.
Why? Well it’s not because they are empty shills who will sell yoghurt and clean eating to any hapless fool for a dollar.
I’m intimidated because it’s the Fitfluential ambassadors that will be the last ones standing on mountain tops at the apocalypse, observing the charred bodies, reflectively snacking on positivity and Granola whilst dreaming of new, better ways to form a new, better species.
What keeps me going with the running is the mental image of a Fitfluential member eating a granola bar over my dead bloated body at Armageddon after I’ve survived the initial wave of nuclear bombs but succumbed to a death by dairy and choking on a block of cheese.
Over my dead body.
I will pull myself out of this slump!
Good ways of pulling yourself out of a slump
- Find something worth hating – Like Fitfluential. Then use your contempt for positive means to energise yourself into action.
- Understand the cause of your slump and then do what you can to resolve the root problem – I’ve ran 2 marathons and a half marathon in a month and I’m tired. It’s now my time to rest and to not feel sorry for myself. I’ll otherwise compound my problems and this bad spell will intensify.
- Not all slumps are made equal. What you perceive to be a slump may well just be a tiny blip – By being negative about a slump you might trigger a proper slump. The truth is I’ve had a great holiday in the past week and I’m still recovering from marathons. I will run tomorrow. I will do what I can to eat better. Just because things are shitty now doesn’t mean they’ll always be that way.
- Do anything positive – You don’t have to think positive to do something positive. Thinking does nothing. It’s mental masturbation. If you’re on your way down then doing anything to right your course will help. Today I didn’t eat pizza and I walked an extra mile. This might not seem like much but it’s more than a meaningless gesture, it’s a positive forward step.
- Morale is the key player – Don’t think about the enormity of the task ahead of you. That will phase you if you’re weak minded like me. Case in point, I was thinking earlier about having to lose the weight I gained on holiday and the additional few pounds I’ve put on since then. This made me feel depressed and I had a Kit Kat. Bad, but not a surprising response.
Bad ways to work your way out of a rut
- Shaming yourself on the Internet and then making promises you can’t keep – “Yes! I’m gonna run a 100 mile race next month and eat nothing but broccoli as I’m an awful fat bastard!”
- Blame everyone else for your descent – “My workout buddy is being blown like the bagpipes by a one eyed Slovenian waitress so I can’t run whilst he’s busy!”
- Be overly harsh on yourself – “I’ve messed this up again and that means I’m a bad person.” Not true. You may have messed up but that makes you normal. Getting back up and trying again is all you can do to prove to yourself that you are worth more than you think you are.
- Denying that things aren’t going your way and that through some trick of fate you’ll be back on top soon – You’ve gotta accept responsibility, assess your situation soberly and act when necessary.
So yes. I’m really gonna follow my own advice for once and actually run tomorrow.
Wish me luck.