My First Post From London, England. I’m Starting To Settle!
Hello everyone. I’m reporting now from my 2nd night in London and it’s been an interesting 48 hours.
I arrived yesterday afternoon and I got off the plane from Belfast and thought “Jesus. You did it at last! You crazy badger!”
Last night was hell though if only in my mind. I was doubting everything I’d ever done in my life up to and including the point where I boarded the flight to London.
Why London? Why now?
As much as I loved running on the hills back home I was getting tired of everything.
I’ve lived in Northern Ireland for all 30 years of all my life and the time had come where I knew I’d regret not at least trying to live in a new place.
It’s not that I hate home. It’s just I’ve seen everything hundreds of millions of times now and I’m worn to it and it leaves me feeling old.
I want excitement, I want a challenge, I want fun. I want life to be great.
I don’t want to be a curmudgeon anymore!
Writer’s block and no fun.
I was running out of ideas to put down for February in my book. It read like fucking shit. Here’s a paraphrased excerpt from that part.
‘2nd February – I ran around the hills. 3rd February – I ran around the hills. 4th February – Overdosed on Pot Noodles – ran around the hills.’
Maybe I’ve no imagination. Maybe I should have been more pro-active in running through new parts of the countryside. Maybe the nagging part of my brain is right and I am actually fucked beyond repair.
I don’t fucking know.
What I do know is that today was a good day. I woke up and applied for a few jobs in the field I love, went for lunch in Camden and then spent the rest of the afternoon getting lost around Carnaby Street.
It’s amazing how revitalizing new experiences are to your spirit.
I’m now back in my shared room writing this post and some more of the book.
The best part of all this is that I feel alive again. I don’t think that’s totally a positive thing. I’m terrified that all of this will go wrong and I won’t be able to live happily in England or anywhere else for that matter.
It’s worth a shot though and I’m taking it a day at a time and enjoying all the small things.
I’m hoping that this decision will be as formative as my decision to run for the first time properly in December 2010.
Time will only tell. I won’t make my life any better by being negative about it.
Small steps. Keep pushing forward.