My Fear Of Gaining The Pounds Back And Why I Need To Keep On Running To Prevent Weight Gain
It’s been another bad week for healthy eating in the Angry Jogger camp.
I’m still eating the same amount of junk food that I was eating when I was 280lbs and I’m terrified that I’m gonna gain all of the weight back that I lost.
I know this is irrational.
I won’t let it happen and the running is a major part of why I can’t and won’t let it slide. The social aspect of the sport has improved my life so much that the thought of retreating back into myself again is depressing.
I have the choice though now to move forward or go backwards.
I’m moving forward.
And here are the steps I’m following.
- I accept that eating more junk food for comfort isn’t gonna lead to me feeling comfortable.
- I will have a more positive day tomorrow. This involves starting the day off on the right foot. In the past I’ve fallen into self pity and thought “what’s the point?”. I have no reason to be sorry for myself though and I know that will only lead to further negative behaviour.
- A run in the morning will make everything better. I’ve had many shitty nights where I’ve struggled with depression and ate & drank too much and I’ve made up for it with a run. On those post-binge runs I’ve focused only on burning calories and staying on my feet for as long as possible. I try to burn over 1,000 calories which works out at about 7 miles for a 210lb man.
- I won’t make things better by beating myself up about past behaviours. The key to winning this game is to understand why I overeat late art night. I will learn from the experience. Next time I head for a plate of Oreos or a Big Mac I think about how I’ll feel after eating it. And it’s never anywhere as good as my brain builds it up to be.
- I’ll continue to weigh myself twice a week. I’m not gonna fall into the habit of just hoping my weight will stay the same. Sometimes you need the shock of seeing how much weight you’ve gained to put you back on course. There’s no point in hiding. I’m gonna have to address it at some point, so why not now whilst it’s still manageable?
- Most importantly of all, I know what it’s like to lose 40-50lbs only to put it back on again. I remember the disappointment of stepping on the scales and the frustration at letting myself slip so badly. It won’t and can’t happen again. I don’t have to go overboard with dieting and running. I just have to be careful and continue to do the right things more often than not.