Love Portugal, Hate Dogs
Mixed run tonight. 21km in total around Portimao. The first bit was sexy as ever around the beach. Love that place. As the run progressed it became very misty. This was atmospheric at first but quickly became scary as the dogs made themselves known.
Had loose hounds come after me out of a house onto the main road outside Alvor. I just stopped, turned to face them and remained as relaxed as possible and they backed away. I hope the cunt who owns them dies. If you let your pet out like that, you don’t deserve life let alone pets.
Hard to know what to do in these situations. I’m tempted to buy pepper spray for self-defense but I’m in danger of becoming trigger happy and spraying every fucking thing that moves after a while. I’d likely open it in a panic and spray myself in the face anyway. That’d be useful.
I love it here in Portugal. It’s excellent for running but the downside is the dog problem. This is not a country of dog lovers. It’s a country of dog employers. They just pack their farm with as many of the loud cunts as possible and pray that everything will be alright.
Every time I go out running I’m confronted with a chorus of barking cunts. WOOF WOOF WOOF. How could anyone like that? The noise is fucking irritating. You don’t get that shit from cows or pigs yet WE EAT THEM. We should start eating the loudest fucking things on the planet and encourage evolution to favor the quiet. We could start by eating pugs. They are almost pigs, but annoying and owned predominately by cunts.
All of this brings out the worst in me. I have memes like the one below in my mind when I encounter dogs I think YEAH DOGGO, HOW ABOUT YOUR CHEW ON THIS FUCKING STICK YUMMY *PRESENTS KURT COBAINESQUE SHOTGUN* WHAMMO!
How do you like the taste of that then?
It’s terrible when you run past a farm with about 12 attack dogs. I enter GTA 5/Fallout 4 mode and fantasize about producing an AK-47 and opening fire on them, bullets ripping beautiful, still daylight through their heads. Waving at all of nature through the hole. See a little blackbird. “And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score! And I love you I love you I love but not as much as my .44!”
SUCK ALL THE DICKS!
In all seriousness, I do like dogs. Just not Nazi perimeter dogs. Nor Alvor main road dogs. It’s a wonder they haven’t been hit by cars already as that road is a bit of a deathtrap. No one seems to care. Gonna egg his house tonight out of spite and maybe the dogs can eat what’s left of it all.
WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!
Oh that’s a high pitched bastard. Small dog. Neurotic owner.
GET AWAY FROM MY TERRITORY HOOMAN!
Trying to you pint-sized fucking deviant. Hate you. You’re a wolf inside the body of a fucking rat. The cunt that bred you needs to die yesterday.
PUGS NOT DRUGS. No. It’s more socially acceptable and responsible to mainline heroin into your ballbag than it is to own a fucking dog which was bred in such a way THAT IT CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE DUE TO IT’S PEDIGREE.
IT CAN’T BREATHE BECAUSE OF YOUR VANITY.
Black tar in your bollocks now son. Outside a cemetery with fresh incoming meat. Tourniquet tied around the testes like the neck of a turkey. Watch this cunt with his pug and Brylcreem-holocaust-hair shuffle down the street from our moral high-ground.