Lonely Running Around Ulster
Been running with my head lamp on a lot recently.
Love looking like the ghost of a sad miner jogging around the deserted roads of East Antrim in search of the last coal mine in Ulster.
I don’t worry so much about shitting myself on deserted roads. No-one will see me. In London everyone sees you. Even if you shit in the arsehole of Essex, a sphincter will be awaiting around the corner to point a finger at you.
I want to run up more hills. For my next contract I’d love to work somewhere with regular access to the hills. There’s something freeing about being up there on my own.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I only like my own company. It’s possibly something I’ll regret when I’m dying as a lonely old spinster in a care home with nothing but a crumpled old lap-dog to keep me company.
Spent long enough hating my own nature. If I can’t be myself then….what should I be? Should I go back to drinking in order to comply with what others expect of me? I don’t really think that’s an option for now.
Definitely an introvert but I still like people and that’s alright. I like that London is full of people but I’m also enjoying being back home for a while.
I’m so close to hitting 5,000k now. Only 57k to go. 4 more runs. 3 more days.
Gonna be tight but I’ll definitely do it.