Living Through Hungry Times
Pushing through the first days after the ultra marathon has been tough. I’ve been so fucking hungry. Rungry and posting about it on internet forums. My favourite food at the moment is these Thornton’s Mini Caramel Shortcakes. I eat the entire packet of shortcakes at a time. In fact I had a packet on the top deck of the 149 down to London Bridge/work this morning for breakfast.
Happy happy happy. Munch munch munch. You are what you eat. Sugar. Therefore I’m sweet. That’s bollocks. I’m a sour cunt.
My last few runs have been difficult but they are slowly getting easier. I’m not asking huge things off my body. My longest run since the ultramarathon has been just over 5 miles. Tonight’s run was easy compared to the one yesterday. Sunday’s run was shit. I was really having to push myself to get past a walking pace.
The Isle of Wight Challenge is in 10 days time. I think I’m gonna rest up this week and next up until the run. I don’t stand to gain anything from longer runs at the minute. Just keep my runs consistent and try not to become ‘documentary fat’ in the meantime.
Need to keep my appetite under some form of control. I don’t know what’s happening to the food I eat because it’s certainly not coming out of me. This is how I shit myself last May. I’ve got to be very careful. I never go anywhere without an emergency pack of Imodium. If I was to shit myself outside the Turkish Grocer again I think that’d constitute a lifetime ban. Shitting yourself in public once can be explained away as an accident. I could just sat my wee pet died and I was sad about him. Two or more times is exhibitionism.
I’m back to watching My 600lb Life to feel better about my own disastrous eating habits. There’s been this recent 2 part episode starring a man called John Assanti and Jesus it’s entertaining.
My favourite bit is when he looks at the cake and shouts “THIS LOOKS REALLY YUMMY!” and then plants his fucking head in it. Dr Now’s comment about “a perform storm of dysfunction” had me laughing for half an hour. If only he knew me.
Life is looking up at the minute.
Looking more to the future and less to the past these days. In the last year or two I haven’t done anything or experienced anything that has really hurt me so it’s been good. When I do experience sadness through rough periods I’m only gonna make things worse by going back to drinking to cope.
I’ve tried drinking to cope before and it makes shit worse so today alone I’m not drinking and I’m trying an easier way of living.