I’m Tapering Like A Lazy Bastard

Evening cunts.

I’m approaching my last full day in NI and I always get sad around this time. I like running here and it’s good to be back until I switch on the evening news and it’s the same arseholes arguing with the same arseholes over the same fucking shit.

Fuck it all. Wish they’d just build a Channel Tunnel to Great Britain instead of wasting it all on old bollocks so I don’t have to fly home.

Thanks for all the feedback on yesterday’s post about booze.

I still get triggered regularly. I booked my train ticket back from Manchester and went for the 1st class option and I seen that they offered drinks. I’ve never been inside 1st class before so my first thought was ‘FUCK YES, LET’S GET ALL THE BEER, WINE AND PROSECCO. BE A RIGHT CLASSY CUNT IN A TUXEDO. CLASSY, SEXY AND CHARMING. I’LL BE THAT MAN ONE DAY’.

I fantasise about heading back to Las Vegas and being a real player. Every time I go to Vegas I end up drinking alcohol for 18 hours a day. Breakfast is always at 6am at CVS where I’ll get 2 of those 40oz Malt liquor tallboys and drink them on the casino floor. There’s nothing glamorous about that place at all.

Or maybe there’s nothing glamorous about me.

Maybe I could be glamorous one day? It’d have to be without any of that malt liquor. It makes my bowels go haywire. Thank fuck casinos have free toilets.

I think I’ve injured my lungs by overexertion through the last week. When I breathe too hard I can hear a wheezing noise and it makes me cough badly. It kept me up all night last night.

I did an easy 5k just there at my usual plodding pace and it was good.

I hope I haven’t fucked anything up in my lungs. Worried that I’ll go overboard with a wank and blow my lungs inside out like an umbrella lodged in an elephant’s trunk on a stormy day.

I’m going to be running no more than 10k per day on each day before the 50 miles on Saturday. The race starts at 6am and my train is at 8pm from Manchester Piccadilly so I kinda have to make the cutoff time of 14 hours or I’ll be in a fucking hostel.

It’ll be a great day. I love getting out and meeting people and I don’t do it enough because I’m an awkward little cat spinster in training.