I Ran A Hilly Half Marathon Today Around Knockagh Hill. But My Run Was Ruined By AIDS-Hounds And Horse Shit.
I set out today to try to run up around Knockagh Hill in East Antrim. It is easier said than done. The hill peaks at 270m above sea level and it has quite a steep incline for at least the first mile.
I got to what I thought was gonna be the start of a flatter region, turned the corner and seen an even steeper section of the road and decided to head back down and continue the run on flatter ground.
I was disappointed that I let the slope beat me, but it wasn’t through lack of effort. I could hardly breathe and felt my heart racing. I didn’t want to risk collapse.
Anyway I started running back down the hill and ended up behind a woman on a horse. Now the horse started to get nervous when it heard me clip-clapping behind it. This in turn made me nervous. Which seemed to make the horse even more nervous. It started shaking it’s head and making freaky noses.
I felt cornered knowing that I could neither out run or out punch a horse.
Thankfully the woman stopped and let me past and that was that.
Saying that, I’m still very suspicious of horses and horse owners. I hate how they (the horses, not the owners) can shit anywhere they want to, but dogs cannot. It shows you who really owns this fucking country. One rule for the ruling class and another for everyone else.
Running back downhill was fucking treacherous as it was literally caked in horse dung and all it would have taken was for me to slide once and I would have skied down the rest of that fucking incline.
Saying that, it might have hurried me up a little…
And It Just Got Worse From There.
To be honest I hated the rest of the fucking run as I was exhausted from my earlier exertion, plus I kept encountering small dogs. Mean spirited small dogs that were spitting AIDS at me for no reason other than their owners weren’t interested in taking responsibility for their pet.
I hate everyone who owns a fucking small dog and doesn’t actually try to stop it becoming a gobshite. These owners are usually weak of character and spend their days filling them up with their own character defects so that the dogs become sheltered, anxious, scraps of fur and paranoia.
It drives me up the fucking wall. All of those motherfuckers who use baby talk with their poodle and refer to themselves as “mummy” or “daddy” should be hung upside down in the town centre and beaten with rubber hammers.
It’s not fair on the dog to take it out when it’s going to try to bite, chew or rape anything that it can. It’s not cute either. It’s fucking annoying. All I want is a space on the pavement to run yet you and your cunt rat dog take it all AND WANT MORE!
FUCK YOU TO HELL.
I’m proud that I didn’t let all this shit phase me. I ran a half marathon in 2 hours 15 minutes with 210m of hills. I could have very easily given up after hitting the wall on the hill, but I just plugged away and hoped it would get easier.
It didn’t get any easier so I just had to grin and bear it.
But thankfully it’s over now. And that’s 8 half marathons in 8 weeks.