I Need To Get Back To The Spirit I Had When I First Stopped Drinking
I need to get back to the spirit I had when I first stopped drinking. I weighed heavier then than I did now and at the time my only focus was on being sober and improving my mental health.
Today I was thinking about how I’d basically spunked all my fitness away during the last 3 months and I couldn’t shake the feeling.
That’s why I need to get back to the old spirit.
I’ve had real insights into the life I want to live. I’ve spent the last month releasing a new website on alcohol addiction that I’m proud of. I’ve rediscovered a love for web development too. I’m just a little worried about what my next move is gonna be as a freelancer. Do I just move somewhere and hope for the best like I did with London?
There was so much good shit ahead after November 2015. The run streak began. I travelled for a month across Europe. I did the 29 half marathons. I ran 100ks and enjoyed my life.
I want to get back to that now and forget about the post LEJOG hangover because there’s even more good shit ahead of me if I keep charting this course.
The worrying thing is whenever I get down I’ve been thinking about alcohol. Checking the closing times of local pubs and places that sell alcohol. Obviously pretty worrying.
If I start drinking again now it will be even more difficult to maintain weight. My mood will nosedive. It will solve fuck all. That’s why I am not drinking today. That shit is a death sentence.
LEJOG wasn’t my best idea ever. How was I to know that beforehand? I learn by doing and sometimes I fail. I can’t change it so I’ve gotta accept it. Part of me finds the idea of a run across Britain for mental health that ends in the runner seeking medical attention for mental health issues pretty fucking funny.
So here’s what I’m doing today to try to move back towards the good times.
- I’m not drinking
- I’m running
- I’m recording my calorie deficit
- I’ve updated my blog