I Had No Motivation To Run Tonight. Then I Thought About All Of The Negative Experiences I’ve Had And Went Out Anyway.

I wasn’t gonna fucking run tonight as I didn’t sleep well last night and just wanted to relax.

Then I thought about all of my bad moments as a runner and decided to just fucking go for it and try my best to do something positive for once.

My run was great. I recorded 9 miles in under 1:15 at an 8:19 min/mile average pace. My last mile was the fastest of 2014. I’m getting better.

Relentless forward progress and all of that wank.

Here are the negative experiences that pushed me on.

• Being trapped in North Las Vegas with no fuel or energy left in my body. Trapped for 2 hours behind a man in a Man United away top with Van Persie 20 on it.  Never again.
  
• My 70k breakdown in Ardingly in the 100k and the embarrassment of having to ask other runners if I could run along with them for light. Never again.
• Breaking down at mile 10 in my first ever half marathon and having to walk the rest of it. 3 miles of slow walking through Larne. It’s a wonder I have an arsehole left to shit out of.  Never again.
• Finishing my first marathon 56 seconds over 5 hours and the disappointment thereafter. Never gain.
• Having to ask David Ford the Justice Minister of Northern Ireland if I could shit in hedges during the 50k. He said no, but being a politician he was obviously lying.  Never again.
• The last 8.2 miles of the Paris Marathon. Hitting those steep ramps and losing the will to run. Never again.

When I say ‘never again’ I mean that I have the power to change and improve and it all starts with individual decisions.

I can think positively or choose to be negative.

I can either eat the fucking cake or not eat the cake.

I can either fucking run or not fucking run.

Sometimes 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

This isn’t in fact a picture of Belgian cock-rock musician Meatloaf. It’s a sexy portrait of your Mother. What a lady.