Today I experienced my first dog attack whilst on the 3rd mile of my run. I seen the dog and it’s owner coming from a long way off, so I ran on the road knowing how quickly these situations can degenerate into blind madness.

As I went past the dog it just went for me totally.

The dog was on a very long leash so it was nipping at my heels; growling, barking and spitting AIDS at me. The owner wasn’t seemingly interested in the commotion, which led me to believe that this was a regular occurence.

So I did the right thing and turned around and yelled ‘fuck off!’ at it.

It stopped. The owner looked at me with such horror that you’d have thought I’d just exposed myself to the Queen.

That’s the problem with these over-pampered, under-trained little cunt-rags. To their owners they can do no wrong. They are like royalty. They treat them like human beings. They give them cutesy names like ‘Prince’ and send them off to obedience school where they learn nothing, other than how to hijack planes and crash them into skyscrapers.

Or something along those lines.

We call squirrels vermin, but I’ve never had any shit off a squirrel in my life. They’ve brought nothing but joy into my life, watching them frolic around. smacked off their tits on almonds. West Highland Terriers bring nothing to my life but fucking noise and pain.

Besides all that it was a good run.

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