How Ultra Running Is Making Me Even More Of An Asshole
Ever seen one of those videos about how ultra-running saved someone’s life and made them a better person?
Well the opposite is true of me at times if I’m honest. Here are some ways in which ultra running has made me an even bigger asshole.
- I’m all about fake humility and humble brags – “I’m disappointed with myself as I only ran 20 miles today”. I said that more than once on LEJOG. I wish I could punch myself in the head without reporting myself to the police. “THAT’S ASSAULT YOU CUNT!”
- Rampant eating disorder getting worse because I’m not addressing what makes me eat like this as it scares me – Part of LEJOG was a weight loss attempt. It didn’t occur to me that I could’ve just ate some lettuce and ran 5 miles a day. Even 5km a day….I’ve proven that it is possible to out run a bad diet but it’s really tricky to do it all the time. And unnecessary. If I managed a football team like I manage my health we’d be winning 9-8 after extra time (when a 1-0 victory would have been achievable if I’d put some defenders and a goalkeeper on the fucking pitch.)
- Too much energy – Always restless. Moving about. Twitching. It makes me difficult to live with. My determination is driving me fucking nuts. Good to be driven but not driven insane. I can’t relax as I’m so scared of backsliding and losing the plot again. I’m planning trips all the time and I’m certain this is not healthy.
- I now think I own the fucking road when I’m out there – It all stemmed from LEJOG and dealing with angry drivers. I’m on a mission and I won’t be stopped by anyone. I give cars the bird all too regularly.
- I’m becoming more introverted – LEJOG should have helped me with my poor social skills. I met shit loads of people and it was great but it turns out that running for long distances on your own makes you live in your head all the more. My head is either in the clouds or stuck up my own arse.
- Obsessed with distance and time – I can’t look at Google Maps directions without clicking on the “Walking” icon to see how long it would take to cover that route. What the fuck is that all about?