How To Cope When Someone Shouts Shit At You In The Street
Someone shouted some shit at me last night when I was out running. That shit would’ve annoyed me when I was younger, but not so much anymore.
So I thought I’d give you some advice on how to react in situations where you’re getting shit off a wanker.
Ask yourself if you’d want to be friends with this person. If the answer is “no” then jog on. You have nothing to gain from responding. You don’t want to know this person. You don’t want them in your life. It’s over.
You don’t have to respect other people’s opinions. Opinions are worthless. Everyone is entitled to an unlimited amount of opinions. Picture a tenement crawling with rats. Those rats are opinions. Whenever you hear an opinion being voiced it’s like a rat’s soul being reaved through a letterbox in the now-burning tenement. That unpleasant whistling noise coming from their stupid fucking head means less than zero.
You burn calories, they burn their own hatred of anything other than fucking out useless dumplings.
This person wants to have contact with you. You don’t want to have contact with them. The discussion is over regardless of what they call you.
You’re running for your own reasons and it isn’t to impress them. The best way is to just completely ghost them. I try to move slowly and erratically in an attempt to make them believe that I’m some sort of sad ghost. I cannot be reached by cunts and I’m coming home at midnight by candlelight to shag your rueful Auntie.
I take heart in the fact that eventually the person will mouth off to the wrong individual and they’ll end up in a quarry somewhere.
You’ll be reading the newspaper or seeing the report of grieving people on the television “He was a kind hearted big lad, a lover of banter. The life and the soul of the party”
“The life and the soul of the party” = “The Archbishop of Banterbury” = “a bit of a cunt”. Sad news.
You’re dead and your aunt’s still a fair shag. All the best with Hitler and all those other boys in the Underworld.