Hating Yourself Because You’re Overweight Only Makes Shit Worse
Overeating is like any other addiction. The more addicted to food you are, the more you’ll gain weight and the harder it will be to exercise. You’ll feel like a piece of shit and will eat junk to cope with the negative feelings.
And the more you hate yourself, the harder it becomes to escape the trap.
Striking a balance
Maintaining your weight is all about hitting the balance where you are fit enough to exercise regularly and to adjust your diet accordingly so that any weight gain is minimal. A good diet will help you get started. Exercise will build momentum. The longer you stick with this, the greater the chances are that you’ll finally hit a balance that you can maintain into the future.
Maintaining your weight requires effort, but it’s possible. It’s better to put a small amount of effort in each day to track what you eat than it is to go on binging sessions followed by crash diets and not weighing yourself for years at a time.
If you eat food “to cope” then ask yourself this. Is it actually helping you cope? Healthy coping mechanisms make your life easier. If your coping mechanism is making you lose self confidence, self worth and mobility, then it’s obviously not working.
Accepting that you’re fat is a difficult thing to do, but once you do it, you put yourself in a position of power to improve. It doesn’t help to beat yourself up about it. If you had this shit sorted out in your head, then you’d be thin by now.
I tried for years to lose weight but I could never make it stick. I assumed that I was always going to be fat. I never wanted to do any exercise as it was painful and embarrassing to fucking sweat whilst walking.
I rarely felt good about myself and that carried over into my lifestyle. I felt like shit so I ate like shit. I drank to forget everything and to stop feeling so hopeless. When I drank whilst feeling hopeless I’d become nasty. The nastiness had unfortunate consequences that made me compulsively seek more comfort food and more booze.
I stopped trying to lose weight as I was afraid of failing again. If I failed then any remaining hope of a new life would have been extinguished in myself. That was pretty fucking terrifying. I convinced myself that I had a lot to lose by trying.
Which was bollocks, I had so much to gain only I couldn’t see that far ahead at the time.
To say that people ‘choose’ to be fat is inaccurate. The further down the road you get, the more the bad decisions make themselves as you can’t see a way out of your situation. You’re a fat mess so another day of the same won’t make shit any worse than it already is.
Only it will get worse. Today is the only day that you can change shit in your life. That’s why I’m not drinking today and why I’ve already got my 5.5 mile run commute finished.
Never want to go all the way back to the start again and I don’t have to.