Getting The Basics Right
It isn’t about how far I run at the moment, it’s about forward steps and getting the basics right.
My days of consuming 4,000 calories and burning 4,001 are over. They seem wildly indulgent and tiring. Why not make life easier for myself?
I am running as far as I want to run each night. I do not push myself beyond a mile or two unless I want to do more. I need to associate running with joy again.
I’ve been associating comfort food directly with the sensation of discomfort. If I want comfort I will eat well or eat less meaning I have to do less to strike a balance. Junk food simply nukes my negative emotions for around 5 minutes and after that I still have to deal with the emotions as well as the extra crap in my body.
There’s nothing wrong with negative emotions. Everyone has them. Not everyone entertains them and invests in them. I am not my thoughts. I was guilty of using my thoughts as a way to drink to excess. I no longer have to associate with that crazy internal monologue. It’s just a shitty TV chattering away in another room, like a demon purring in your brain as you drift off to sleep.
I am starting to see this burnout phase as a test. If I can survive and come back from this, then I’ll be stronger for it. I plan to build a roadmap from it to help others.