Farting Constantly Whilst Running Is Enough To Make Me Weep.

There is little worse than needing to shit when you’re on the run.

Today was one such run. It wasn’t just on one occasion either. I was dogged by it. I had to slow down and adjust my breathing to stop the farting.

Even then, I was still terrified of making a wrong move just in case something came out. I ran with my knees almost knocking off my forehead and my back arched like a cat on the prowl.

I must have farted at least 150 times over the 6.5 mile stretch and oddly enough my flatulence proved to be the inspiration for some speed work when other people were near to me.

You see I did not want anyone to know that I was suffering from severe gas leakages. So if I seen someone close and I had to fart I made sure I let it all out as soon as possible and then I bolted past them to try to outrun both the gust and the shame/blame.

At this point, I wasn’t sure if it was just gas or if I’d went brown. The worst thing is that there is no way to test apart from staring down at your legs or if you’ve no shame, performing the two fingered test.

I pretended not to care and just kept marching forward like the noble soldier that I am not. When I finished my run, my stomach stood still. All of the earlier flatulence was eerily absent.

I guess I was courting trouble by having a cheeseburger directly before the run..