Falling And Not Laughing
Hope all is well with you and your wacky old head(s)
I fell on my last run.
It wasn’t serious. I was daydreaming like fuck. Can’t remember about what. I just remember taking one step forward and then something changed. This awareness was followed by a brief moment of euphoria before it dawned on me that I was falling and hard.
The falling down part isn’t so bad really. Your heart skips a beat. You frantically try to recall whether someone was in your vicinity who has captured your calamity on smartphone and you’re now gonna be immortalised on YouTube forever. You wish you could take all of those clumsy steps you took back as if they were drunken Tinder messages.
You can’t say sorry to gravity.
If you’re 6 foot 3 and 215 pounds then gravity is your bitch. Tottenham might be a might of a vacuum but gravity still applies. My arm is proof of that.
There are many ways you can react to a fall. Here are a few ideas to help you through your next one.
- Refuse to get up and phone yourself an ambulance. Cry a lot and tell everyone who tries to help you to fuck off.
- Jump up, find someone who has laughed at you going down and then SPRINT AT THE CUNT.
- Jump up, laugh it off and brush down your tits. Yay, you’re a big boy now. Once you’re around the corner survey the damage to your body and sulk. Feel sorry for yourself. Hopefully you still have both your arms.
I chose the 3rd option.
I came away with some bleeding and a scratch. More worryingly my upper right leg was painful for a few hours on Thursday. I tried stretching it at lunch time around Kentish Town and I became all too aware that it looked like I’d shit myself.
Today is Friday and my leg is good. Tomorrow is my 50k from Fulham to Runnymede. I’m looking forward to it. I will post updates at each of the stations on the Facebook page.
My race strategy is simple. I’m breaking it down into 4 runs. I’m stopping at each food station for at least 5 minutes and I’m gonna enjoy the experience.
Life is too short to be such an angry miserable fucker I think.