Exhaustion Hits – This Post Goes Out To My Long Suffering Body
I’d like to thank my body for all the shit I’ve got away with up until now. All the stupid nights of drinking. All the awful foods that I’ve fed it. When I was a teenager I never could see a future for myself in any real sense. So I didn’t take care of myself. It seemed pointless.
Despite the neglect it’s held up well. Today however, it kinda asked to slow down for a while. I’ve never felt this level of exhaustion before and it doesn’t make sense to me. Why am I so tired now and why didn’t I feel this way on Sunday?
I’m not one who believes in ‘manning up’. The people who ‘man up’ are the ones who always end up injured because they are fucked up injury fetishists and love having their body yanked on by their physiotherapist. It starts with restorative yoga and ends with torture gardens.
I did 2km tonight again and that’s more than enough. I want to stay injury free so pushing myself would be an idiotic thing to do.
I checked my training log for the first time since I completed LEJOG and I’m pleased with the effort I put in across the 5 weeks.
If I could do one thing differently I would not have drank so much coffee on the 15th June in Birmingham. I became so ill that I couldn’t run and I then had do a 37 mile day on one of the hottest days of the year because of it.
So yeah. I’m really tired because of all the mad running you can see above. My strength comes from my body and I don’t feel as if my body is me in any real sense. It’s something I have temporary custody over and when the time comes to return it I’m gonna fucking lose my deposit.
You don’t need mental strength to do something like the LEJOG. The power comes from the body and letting it do it’s thing. My mind was a mess of negativity and it did it’s best to trip my body up. I was only able to complete this by stopping my mind altogether for significant periods of time. Positivity is not the opposite of negativity. It’s just another mental game. The opposite of a stormy sea is a still sea, not happy splash-splash waves LOL #fitspo #wankspo.
When my mind shuts the fuck up, then my body faces no resistance.
That’s why I drank. I was trying to obliterate my mind but I also accidentally killed the stillness and the peace with it.