Entered My First Ultramarathon In Over A Year And A Response To A Response From Yesterday’s Post
I entered my first ultramarathon since the Isle of Wight disaster, the one which got me so pissed off that I ended up running across the entire country in a huff. Fuck knows what I’ll do if this goes wrong. Grow some tits and lap it up like a bastard maybe?
It’s the Stort 30. 15 miles out and back from Bishop’s Stortford to Rye House. I know the course so I’m confident I can finish it and I’m glad I’m finally ending this odd hermetic lifestyle. I want to meet people.
Got some emails about yesterday’s post about my run across The Netherlands on weed.
Yes, I understand that substituting one substance for another is not ideal. No, I do not have a disease. No, addiction is not the only disease which tells you don’t have a disease. If you have a disease you go to a fucking doctor about it. Not a witchdoctor. Not somewhere with shit biscuits and war stories where alcohol is routinely glamourized by idiots who should know fucking better.
I’m getting therapy on a website called Better Help. I’ve started filling in SMART recovery helpsheets. I’ve just finished watching some videos on mindfulness from Ted on Youtube. I’ve dabbled a little bit in Rational Recovery which uses AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique). It primes you to recognize the lizardy part of your brain when it wants the good stuff like alcohol, sex or Bryan Ferry LPS.
When I want to take Nytol, I do work. I do anything to improve my current situation instead of lazily forgetting about it until a better time. There is no better time. This is the only fucking time!
Want to sleep easier cunto? Fill in your expenses forms for your business instead of worrying about it. Or praying about it. Do it.
I was not born this way. I was brought up around some people who had drink problems in Belfast. As a kid, I remember wishing that my parents did not drink as much as they did. I don’t want to repeat the same fucking mistakes as no-one does this shit on purpose. No-one becomes a complete shitshow out of choice. People drank like fuck in Belfast because there wasn’t much on in the 70’s or 80’s other than talk about today’s bombing or shooting.
It usually starts with one bad choice and then spirals out of control.
And not everyone who was brought up in that environment became fucked up pisshead/drug addicts. I am starting to see the challenges I face as opportunities. Explore the terrain, master it and create something positive out of it to help other people.
I would not have a problem with AA if it wasn’t for it fucking up so many peoples lives. At best it has a 10% recovery rate. If I was performing surgery with a 10% recovery rate I’d be hung, drawn and quartered and forced to drink my own bowels out of a fucking Cup O’Soup.
There is only one Bob Smith
There is only one B. Wilson (Anchorman)
In terms of drug substitutions. A.A. loves nicotine and coffee. Why? Both alter your consciousness. Both change your feelings. It’s all based on what two old overrated farts dreamed up in some LSD induced wank fantasy in the 1930s, how the fuck is any of this relevant in 2018?
I could believe in Jesus but he’s isn’t much use to the alcoholic. He was busy having superlols in the fucking desert turning water into wine cos LOL YUMLOLZ PINOT GRIGIO 180! THE GRAPE STRAIN IS SUPERCHRIST! DRINK IT IN SINNER!
That story is not the mark of a spiritual guru. It’s the act of a populist Jewish Nigel Farage from the 0st century. And it’s pretty fucking depressing.
Mixed messages? Why did Jesus not create joints from twigs? Maybe he did and that would explain why the Bible is so meandering and fucking boring.