Don’t Take Running Or Life Too Seriously! And Run Like Hell Whilst You Still Have The Body For It!
Life is too short to be taken seriously. You will die, rot and be forgotten. In 100 years any hint of your life will be erased from existence. Your successes and your failures will be ultimately meaningless.
This might seem depressing at first. But it’s liberating. It means you can and should try to fail as much as possible in your life as eventually you’ll hit success.
When no-one will remember your failures or your successes then you have free reign over your world.
Now is the only time to light up the planet with joy/pure fucking hatred and celebrate being alive with running.
Now is the time to declare war on the weather and to get your shit together.
5 Thoughts On Running Over This Cold, Windy, Miserable Season.
- Relish the fact that you look absurd running in the rain. I always run with a sex face on regardless of how I’m feeling. It’s not intentional and I’m not out to scare anyone deliberately. I’m a bony chimp with a sweet-tooth, running in circles for thrills. If God deliberately imagined any of us at the Big Bang He was smoking angel dust.
- I’ve been reading a lot recently about marathon running being potentially dangerous to your health and I’ve thought fuck it! Running might not naturally extend the length of your life but it will drastically improve the quality of your time here, especially if you can laugh and rejoice on the run. Be the chorus of your own song. You might only last 3:14 but it’s better than trailing on for 7 fucking minutes like a Coldplay record and dying on a downer in your own piss.
- Do not envy those who lie on in their bed in the mornings whilst you’re out running. It’s easy to feel jealous when it’s pissing down outside but their life isn’t any better for the 2 extra hours sleep. Most people are stuck in a fucking rut. They don’t get out of that rut by staying in bed or wishing for some transformative life experience to descend upon them whilst weeping to Adele and eating Snickers.
- Pack your Mp3 player full of songs that make you fucking hateful/energetic. Hatred is an excellent tool for running when motivation is low. It will help you get out the door in the morning. Since I don’t run with music on any more I run with it in my head. I love stomping around with this particular poem in my head. I can recite it off by heart. It’s brilliant for pacing myself with and for controlling my breathing.
“Like a night club in the morning, you’re the bitter end! Like a recently disinfected shithouse, you’re clean around the bend!”
- If something isn’t fun anymore then stop doing it. I had to learn this the hard way by wasting 2008 masturbating to Alanis Morissette records. Admit to yourself if you aren’t enjoying running, identify why you feel that way and think of ways to make it more fun for yourself. Run faster. Run slower. Run with a friend. Run in the country. Run around town. Try something different and you’ll eventually find a routine that you like.