Day 5 of 30 – Running Faster Is Miserable
Ran my fastest ever 10 miles today in 1 hour 23 minutes. Now I remember why I don’t run fast anymore. It’s fucking stressful. But it means that I don’t have time to think about negative shit. And by running faster it will make running slower even easier.
I hate stupid fucking cliches like ‘running doesn’t get any easier, you just get stronger!’
Wow fucking Einstein. Thanks for that! By definition running does get easier as you get stronger. We’re talking about you! We’re talking about your lungs! Your little legs! Look how fast your little legs move now that you’ve practiced moving faster! You’re doing it easier now!
Cliches are dangerous. “School days are the best days of your life” is my favourite. If that was true I wouldn’t be here anymore. It gets fucking better. When people shit out cliches or platitudes tell them to go and fuck themselves.
I’m getting old. I want an easy life. I am a lazy bastard. I can’t be fucked testing my limits. I am a doss cunt and proud of that fact. The idea of running a marathon under 4 hours doesn’t appeal to me like it once did. I enjoy long slow plodding and eating cake at checkpoints. It’s just who I am.
My first 27 hour 100k changed everything for me. I was gripped by the freedom of being on trails, then roads and actually going somewhere rather than running a lap of a major city. Much less stressful. Marathons are regimented and most people are serious. It’s not how I want to spend an afternoon anymore.
Marathon training was always fucking miserable to me. Tapering. All of that fucking crazy shit. Joyless. Pushing yourself. Running 20 miles and then stopping. Chaffing my ball sack. Crying. The tears when I sprayed Deep Heat on my balls.
Actually that shit was fun.
I set loads of new Strava records for myself.
I haven’t had much of an appetite today. This doesn’t come as a surprise considering all the shit I ate yesterday. I ate enough for 2 days.
I had a pizza for breakfast, then I ran and had some grapes and Shloer for dinner/supper.
Oh and I’ve had 3 packets of crisps. Walkers. Mother is annoyed at this. She considers it treason that I am not eating Tayto. I will eat any crisps or maize snack. But not today. I need the balance back.
I think from now on I’ll run for distance again until I get depressed on the run. Then I’ll test my lungs so that I don’t think about depressing shit.