Day 24 – Admitting To The Last Great Addiction That I Want To Remove
|Calories in||Calories out||Deficit|
After all these years I’m still addicted to Nytol but I’ve been off it for 3 days now. My sleep hasn’t been great but I’m fighting through the discomfort in hope that I can get off this shit.
I want to kick it as I need to dedicate my nights to building my business. I want to become a workaholic so I can bring about the life I want to lead now.
It’s embarrassing to admit to this but I have nights where my thoughts get completely out of control and I think I’m drowning in a tsunami of bullshit. Nytol stopped the anxiety to an extent but I’ve needed to take more over time. I talked to someone about this in an AA chat room and they told me that I needed to ‘reset’ my sober time including my non-drinking time for using drugs.
Yes. Because those delicious Nytol contain whisky. The reason why AA has a shitty fucking success rate is because of wankers like this. I’m going to seek professional help back in the UK and tell them about my anxiety at night. I need therapy, not an invisible higher saviour power.
Mohammad, Jesus, Buddha, Lionel Messi, Larry David, none of these super heroes have anything on peer reviewed super science.
Fuck it. I’m not drinking tonight. 467 nights without it. Progress not perfection, fuckers.
Yesterday I almost got food poisoning. I bought a ‘gourmet’ hot dog with hot Mexican dressing. The dressing tasted good but the hot dog was terrible. Tasted like salty cold pencils. Awful texture. Felt ill all night and was only able to run 5k around the centre of Madrid. At one point I didn’t believe I was gonna be able to run at all the nausea was so bad, so I consider this a success.
The run was shitty too as it was raining outside and every 5 feet someone tried to stop me with an offer of “el paraguas?”. I’m a grown man. I shaved my head so I wouldn’t have to worry about rain and umbrellas. Everyone loses their shit when the rain starts. I can understand trying to escape it if you’re wearing make up or have great hair. I’m fine walking alone in the rain without an umbrella as I only wore eyeliner as a drunk goth and I’m sporting the Sinead O’Connor hairstyle.
I’m swearing off McDonalds ‘food’ for a while. The burger I had yesterday was fucking disgusting too. I like their desserts and the theirs milkshakes. The sandwiches taste horrendous.