Day 22 – I Can’t Hostel Anymore, Fuckers
|Calories in||Calories out||Deficit|
Hi fuckers. I’m in Madrid.
I checked into another hostel yesterday. I asked for a private room. There was none available. I went into a dorm and there was 2 dudes sitting there on their beds staring at me as I walked in. One of them tried to strike up a conversation as if I was a new arrival in the Big Brother house.
I didn’t answer the question he asked as he had no business knowing “what’s up?”. I just said “hello!”, freaked out a little, searched for the nearest hotel on TripAdvisor, booked it and got the fuck out of there within 10 minutes.
I’m 33 years old. I am a non practicing alcoholic. I can afford hotels. I am awkward. I am shy. Both of those are OK. I don’t want to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I’m not a people person. I am not energised by hip young socialites who wear baseball caps the wrong way around. I was told for most of my teens that I was weird and wrong. I’m now at the point where that doesn’t matter anymore.
Don’t get me wrong – some of my best friends are people.
I just don’t want to meet people for the sake of it. Everyone is essentially the same. A neurotic mess of nerves, impulses and sadness. Only the names and the disguises change. It’s all bollocks.
Meet one person and you’ve met them all. Just meet the right person, otherwise you’ll spend your entire life thinking all of humanity is scum.
And speaking of bollocks. Yesterday was an exceptional gangbang of wrong with my eating.
I tried to get a healthy breakfast in Sevilla but nothing was open at 9am. Someone will no doubt ask “WHY DID YOU NOT BRING ALONG AN EMERGENCY PACKET OF HEALTHY NUTS, SEEDS AND PULSES?”
And my only answer is, I’m neither Bear Gryllls nor a fucking squirrel. Get fucked or die trying.
Yesterday I had to question the validity of the calorie expenditure reading on my watch. Normally it seems OK but yesterday it was reporting about 1,200 active calories for over 40,000 steps.
A conservative read-out helps me maintain a deficit but one that’s too over the top just makes this unsustainable.
I’m going to be honest, I’m not enjoying this challenge anymore but I’ve only got another week to go. I’ve just gotta knuckle down and get on with it. This under reporting of calories left me hungry, angry and negative which you can probably feel in the tone of my writing today.
It gets better from here.
I’m staying in hotels for the rest of the trip and my hotel is right in the centre of Madrid. I’m 5 minutes away from Puerta del Sol.
I only eat this way as I really miss your mum.