Day 18 – Managed 4 Portions Of Lemons Yesterday. No Wonder I’m Such A Sour Cunt
|Calories in||Calories out||Deficit|
I’m taking the dog thing a bit far now. I’m trying to run on the opposite side of the road to them to avoid conflict. But this evening I was egged on by the barking of two of my arch nemeses just short of the garage at Pata.
I jogged by them slowly with my fingers raised up to them in and started switching my head lamp on and off to give the SOS signal in morse code. I honestly haven’t laughed that hard in some time. I need help. Or a beating. I’m starting to enjoy this too much and I’ll meet my match one day.
I’m just terrified of dogs here because of all the feral dog warnings. When I hear barking my bumhole puckers up and sings to Santa. It’s even worse in the dark. With me running along so slowly it’s like I’m playing the video game Silent Hill on a shitty broken down old PC.
I had another embarrassing encounter before I went out. I went out to the laundry outhouse on the farm here to collect a few things I was washing. I had my headlamp on full beam. I came out of the building and my neighbours were entering through the security gate in their car. I didn’t see them at first and was talking to myself. When I spotted them my head dropped out of shame.
I started jogging away to get back into my room ASAP but I was panicking a little out of awkwardness and pulled hard on what I thought was my door handle.
It was theirs.
Fuck knows what sort of conservations they are going to be having with the landlord. Fortunately I’m leaving on Monday on a bus to Sevilla so they will be glad to be rid of me.
Yesterday I bought lemons and they were delicious. I was gonna buy more than one bag but I’d have ate them all at once and my goal was to keep my calorie consumption down as I was feeling lazy as all hell.
I stopped off for dinner at a little cafe that served me a toastie and a drink for 3 euro. Bargain. I was gonna order a second toastie but I would have had to have ran more and I just wanted to have an easy day. I’m impressed by my willpower but I know what’s at stake. I want to keep this streak going so that I have new shit to write about here. Not the same old rehashed anti small dog bollocks.
Here’s my diary for yesterday. 4 portions of fruit and veg. Not bad for someone who is probably suffering unknowingly from scurvy.