Confession Time – I Weigh Myself Far Too Regularly To Be Healthy.
I have a confession to make fuckos. I have a weighing problem. I do it multiple times per day. I don’t even record the information anymore ever since I threw my Wifi scales in the bin. It doesn’t make sense.
I weigh myself pre-run. Post-run.
With clothes. Without clothes.
Pre-piss. Post-piss. One day I will take the scales up to the pissing room (toilets) and weigh myself during a piss to see how fast it comes out. I will submit the information to NASA to see if it helps them develop fuel release technology in space shuttles.
It’s not uncommon for me to shout “COME ON WE CAN MAKE THIS!” when I’m in the midst of a super long piss and I’m just on the wrong side of my target weight.
I sometimes go for months without weighing myself knowing that I’ve gained. This always happens after I came back from holiday. Trying to step on the scale after such a long absence is hell on Earth. If I’m lucky I’ll only have gained a few pounds. Realistically it will be 10 pounds and instead of doing something about it, I’ll go back into denial and eat something to take my mind off it.
I love the thrill of weighing myself on other peoples scales. I’ll go to their bathroom and see them there sitting in the corner. My heart will race with the thrill of knowing how much I weigh in someone else’s universe. They’ll always be out by about 20 pounds and it will freak me fucking out.
If I’m actively losing weight then I’ll be religious about my weighing. If the fat isn’t coming off as quickly as I liked then I’ll feel cheated and eat some junk food in defiance. Just to show those fucking scales!
I sometimes miss the days of the brutal hangovers where I’d be so ill my weight will have dropped by 10-15lbs thanks to all of the liquids I’ve lost.
None of this is healthy I know. Normal people weigh themselves only once per week and at the same time. Usually in the mornings. I don’t care when I weigh myself as long as I find the lowest possible weight.
This is all pretty fucked up and no doubt a symptom of low self esteem. Perhaps I should throw my scales away altogether. I never do anything positive with the information they give me. In fact if I’ve gained I’ll become self destructive and eat all of the things just because I’m a fat boy who deserves nothing but pies.
Anyway I’ve been below 200lbs now for well over a week. I’m honestly happy at that weight but my worry is that I’ll hit a bad patch where start eating like shit and gain.
I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to find balance and perspective. I guess this is where sobriety helps. When I don’t drink it’s so much easier to keep the weight off and I must always remember that.
Hope you’re well fuckers. I’m gonna start getting for Bristol and the Green Man ultra. It’s gonna be good fun!