Breaking The Vicious Cycle Of Gaining Weight, Feeling Bad About Being Fat And Eating More Junk Food To Feel Better
Ever since I’ve came back from holiday I’ve been eating like a pig and I now seem to be back over 210 pounds for good.
I’ve got caught into a vicious cycle of gaining weight, feeling shit about it and eating more to feel better.
I have a Pot Noodle and it makes me feel alright for about 15 seconds but then half an hour later I’m like.
‘What the hell did you have that for? You’re gonna be crapping out MSG if you continue on at this rate!’
I’m at the point now where it’s effecting my running. The problem I’m having with my knee reminds me of the pain I had when I first started training for the Belfast Marathon in 2011.
My weight isn’t up that far yet, but it’s nearly there and this needs to stop now.
I wanted to run today but I genuinely couldn’t because of a fat man injury. I’ve came quite far and to see myself backsliding like this is demoralising as all hell.
I run a lot but I don’t see much progress because I continually stuff my face day in day out and it’s getting really tiresome.
So what will it fucking be? Will I just sit in here all day like a recluse and eat shit until I get back to the point where I sweat about the thought of walking?
Or do I actually stop acting like an idiot and give healthy eating a proper go without any of this cavalier, macho, oh-I-can-eat-150-burgers-a-week-and-not-gain-weight bravado bullshit?
When you’re tired of what you are, it’s time to change what you are.
If anyone catches me going anywhere near a kebab shop they have license to drown me in the nearest estuary or slap me where my bra should be.
I’m fed up, but I’m not fucking giving up.
I’m back on Weight Watchers starting now.