You know how only 95% of people keep the weight off they lost after dieting over 5 years?
Well I’ve kept most of that weight off for 5 years now. I have beaten the statistic! I don’t have anything close to a perfect body, but it’s a lot better than I had 6 years ago.
I’m hoping I can beat the statistics with my alcohol cessation as well. The failure rate for remaining off alcohol over 5 years is about 95% too. I know what I’m up against. It’s a bastard to shake. Whenever I see alcohol ads targeted at me on social media (even when I’ve disabled them) I tend to go onto their corporate page and be very abusive to them.
It’s almost a sport for me now.
People sometimes ask me when I’m gonna drink again. I can’t say ‘never’ as every time I’ve said that in the past I’ve failed. I will never see the day where I achieve my goal of ‘never drinking again’. If I die sober, I can’t relish in my achievement because I’ll be fucking dead. In a box.
I won’t be there to Hi-5 Jesus in Heaven. He will be sitting there scowling at me like a scornful parent as he brings up the story about the Prague Box every day for the rest of eternity.
Today I’m still in the position where I wish I’d never started drinking.
And that’s why I’m not drinking today. Only today. I try not to think past that. I try to educate myself on addiction every day. I need to build the life I want to live sober. I’m getting there slowly but sometimes I worry it’s not enough.
I still owe a lot to some people. Crowdfunding my book is something I regret as I wouldn’t have been in that situation if I didn’t go to Vegas and waste so much fucking money. So irresponsible. Shameful.
All I know is that life is easier sober. I’m being true to myself and I feel like I’m possessed and on a mission.
It’s easier to out-run a shitty diet if you aren’t drinking. And I still haven’t missed a run in over 9 months now.
I’m on well over 2,000 miles for 2016 alone.