An Ode To Junk Miles And A Haribo Overdose Before My 16th Half Marathon

I love the junk miles.

I’ve been running them for quite some time now. I don’t do sprints. I don’t do hill workouts. I don’t stretch. I don’t fan my balls out at Mother Nature as if I’m some kind of peacock. I just trot along like the wee wanker I am.

Fuck you, you bunch of judgemental pricks.

After the mild injury scare on Sunday’s half marathon, yesterday and today’s half marathons were uneventful and fun.

Today was a lovely day for running which meant lots of wankers were out to enjoy the weather too. I’ve got into the habit of suppressing my hatred of leash-less dog walkers by sprinting like fuck whenever I see them and adding to my “If I had a gun” poem that I’m hoping to publish soon. I think it’s gonna come out in 24 instalments.

Diet switch around

I ran the first 15 half marathons on under 100g of carbohydrates a day. I find running in ketosis enjoyable and relaxing. It meant I could easily hike up my mileage from 56 miles in a week to 92 without suffering any real problems.

Last night I accidentally took a large Haribo overdose and now I’ve switched back to bread, sugar and all the other stuff that makes Dr Pete Attila cry.

I kinda regretted this decision at the start of today’s run. My stomach was cramping up and I honestly thought I was gonna puke for the first 5 miles. Then my system calmed down and I eased into the run. In the last half I had explosive energy which I wasn’t getting off the high fat diet. It was pretty exciting and it helped me record my fastest Strava, 5k, 10k and 2 mile times.

I’m really going to miss this challenge once it’s over. It’s been great pissing about outside for 2 and a half hours a day.

I’ve stopped thinking about it as a challenge and more of an opportunity to try to sort my head out. Once it’s finished I’m gonna maintain my run streak which has been ongoing now for 78 days.

One thing is for certain – I’m no longer scared of half marathons.

16 down, 13 to go.