A Summary Of My European Running Trip.
Fuck you all! I hate all your mushy little heads!
Anyway people have been asking me why I did the “wee gurn” throughout Europe and the answer is simple. I don’t enjoy smiling. You see in Northern Ireland we’re repressed motherfuckers. Any sign of emotion is viewed as a weakness. Being a bit of a dour cunt is seen as something of a virtue.
I didn’t smile as I don’t want to fucking smile. I’m happy inside. Faking one would fucking kill me. You want to know what dying feels like? Fake a smile drunkenly into a mirror. Your soul expires in the short moment it takes you to realise you’re fucking miserable and you’re only grinning to please the world that you know you fucking hate.
Here’s a summary of my running trip.
My hostel was located in the Molenbeek region of the city which has received attention recently for all the wrong reasons.
On the first morning I jogged along the canal and through the city centre. Loved it. Ran to the Expo on my second day. Good times and I didn’t experience any trouble at all.
I was expecting running to be shitty and stressful as my hostel was right by Hamburg Hauptbahnhof but fortunately there was a nearby underpass that lead onto the Außenalster path and I had 2 great runs through here. It was cool coming back through the restaurant district in St Georg too.
First night’s running was shit as I ended up going in the direction of Alexanderplatz at rush hour. Major foot traffic led to urges to get violent. The next 2 runs were much better after I found the River Spree path that went into the Tiergarten and further out to Charlottenburg Castle.
Since I’d been travelling for most of the day between Berlin and Vienna by bus I had to run in my jeans, shoes and coat from the bus station to the hostel otherwise my run streak would have died.
What followed was my worst ever 5k run. It took over 40 minutes and it’s probably the closest I’ve come to arrest. I’ve never felt as much hatred for humankind as I did during this.
The rest of my runs through Vienna were amazing. I loved running alongside the Danube. They have wild bunnies there.
Christ I loved Budapest. I made it up to the top of the Citadella with ease. It offers an amazing view over the City. I only wish I had spent more time here so I could have jogged around all of the sights.
Budapest is a beautiful city and it’s extremely difficult to spend any money there. Everything is so inexpensive.
The hills were aloud with the sound of an angry Irish man screaming “cunt!” and “fuck!”. Oberwinkl took my bum and used it for fun. It was such a difficult ascent but it made me realise that trails don’t always have to be harrowing rape-like experiences.
My dream is to come back and take Oberwinkl. I will need to dramatically improve my fitness before then though.
Running around Cologne was a bit shitty to be honest. It’s a nice city but it reminds me a little too much of Manchester and that’s never a good thing. I ran along by the Rhine but it wasn’t enjoyable as both days were full of rain and none of the lols.
I was coming to terms with the fact that my running trip was over so Eindhoven was a bit sad. Eindoven has a really nice little market square which I jogged around a few times and it doesn’t have nearly as many wanker tourists as Amsterdam which is a bonus.