A Message To North Korea and Kim Jong-Un. Stop Being An Aggressive Cunt And Get Outside And Run!
I’ll tell you all a seriously unfunny story that happened just 20 minutes ago.
I feel asleep here at about 10pm local time and awoke at 2:00am for no real reason. I switched on the news and saw that North Korea are making more threats against the United States for being the inventors of Spandex (or some other pointless shit like that).
Just to confirm it, I went on CNN and sure enough this story was on the front page.
Like anyone who has watched the nuclear war drama Threads multiple times, I tend to get nervous about any of this rhetoric.
I don’t want uranium in my corn flakes.
I’ve seen the damage that nuclear fallout can cause first hand in the form of Belarusian ‘women’ tainted by fallout from the Chernobyl disaster.
Then my heart fucking sank when this popped into my inbox.
Holy fuck. Have they went through with it? Are Amazon not selling goods anymore because of the attack?
Holy fuck!? What am I gonna do?
What if another nuclear device hits Belfast the very moment I’m having a wank and the blast cuts out the power to my home at my “moment of impact”?
Could I recover from the resulting stroke / heart attack let alone the repercussions of a nuclear war?
Then I opened the email.
Amazon you fucking cunts!
You nearly killed me!
I thought you were announcing the end of the world, when really all you were doing was shilling fucking gobstoppers to a fat man from Northern Ireland who does not need more fucking gobstoppers.
What is your fucking problem?
…..and relax. A message to Kim Jong-un and North Korea.
So my message to Kim Jong-un is simple.
Stop being an angry fat fuck and go outside and run. We all know you’re angry because you’re that obese that you can’t see your dick, but chill out.
Go outside for a nice jog in Pyongyang. It will do you the world of good.
You might stop blaming the free world for all of your personal fucking issues and actually reflect on your own life and your own problems and breathe a little.
Kim Jong-Un tells the world how many yards he managed on his last run whilst pursuing an ice-cream track.
My conclusion
I am lucky that this did not happen in Amsterdam.
I would have jumped into the Amstel, caught two swans, bludgeoned them to death with my head and then fashioned their carcasses into a spectacularly inefficient/gruesome anti-Nuke helmet.
I’m now going back to bed. My flight to Holland is in 12 hours and I really need my fucking beauty sleep.
I want to punch Kim Jong-Un dead square in the face as hard as my body could possibly allow me to. It isn’t even because of all the threats…he just has one of those faces that I want to smash every single time I see it.
Please come and get me! I would just love to leave my 67 years in this world to be remembered as the relatively sane human who took out the world’s greatest megalomaniac in human memory. YOU ARE A COMPLETE TWAT! Your population are shit scared of upsetting you. I’m not so give it your best shot. No pun intended but I suspect you wouldn’t recognise one if you had any brain cells.
Fuck Off
Kim Jong-Un can go fuck himself. That fat little turd.
Kim Jung-un. Fat. Stupid. Impotent. A new BFF with Putin-head in the Losers’ Club. What a joke. The only human-appearing creature that says ‘be my friend or there will be consequences.’ But we dealt with all of that before 3rd grade. No more kick-ball for you, french-fry. Was gonna point out you have no balls, but at I am now certain you are a stubby little girl with really bad hair. No motion picture can fix that. You will still have to wake up being – GASP – yourself. Poor thang.
the kims are all stupid motherfuckers!!!
Kim is a rancid little cock gobbling turd! What a complete fuckstick!
Rise up people of North Korea!
Rise up and throw that shitty fat retard into prison for the rest of his life!
The World welcomes you with open arms. Rise up and amputate the Kim cancer that ails you all. Free yourselves from your captor. Kim is an insane, retarded, narrow minded embarrassment that the World should eradicate with extreme prejudice.
embarrassment
Kim Jong Un is only being aggressive because he cannot find a way to fuck himself……
Prison? Personally I’d take his head off and display it in the market square in Pyongyang as a message to all other potential a**holes that want to lord it over the country
I’d love to slap that fat fuck
Fuck you North Korea
Kim jong fat fuck
he can burn in hell
That fat bitch! U know, if I were president, I’d shove one of our Nukes right up his ass! Although he’d probably like it… All I can say is let him fuck with me in my small part of America…I’ll show him how to really poison someone! Fuck that bitch!
kim dung flung can’t fuck himself.his dick is too shortand is coverdwith wrinkles of fat!!!!
I hope the little fat shitty cunt dies a horrible slow death, like what he’s already doing to the poor ignorant fucks that live tere…
Fuck that piece of shit We should fucking nuke the sons of bitches level the whole fucking country Hopefully Trump Does it
FUCK NORTH KOREA they don’t got no fucking balls to fuck with the USA
He looks like a fucking d-bag. (trying to keep it clean)
Kim Kong Jong whatever is a fat cunt that fucks dogs with his micro penis he is bitter because he has a girls name
TERWATTT#
Fucking ass kim
That fat faced piece of shit Kim should be fuckin annihilated ASAP and what the fuck is the rest of the civilized world doing about it Fuck All ,are we to wait until one of our country’s is glowing at night ,where the fuck are the black ops/cia/or Britain’s mean ass motherfuckers special forces kill this fuck the rest of them assholes will fall in line like sheep,nuke these fuckers now.
I’d like to prick Kim Jon Un with a fork and watch him slowly deflate
yer nuke em all
Love north korea. Fuck us shit hole!!!
Fuck Kim What A Dam Bastard Who Wants War Any Way HUH WHO! DOES!
Fuck Kim What A Dam Bastard Who Wants War Any Way HUH WHO! DOES!
Son Of A Bitch Needs To Calm Down
If I was Kim I’d just kill my self I’m not a fan of trump but he’s 600x Better Than Kim
Kim ping pong is such a hypocrite, fat annoying faced, bad hair cut spoilt brat who needs to stop putting n korea at risk of annilation, cus he aint gonna win.
All his generals etc are shit scared cus at any moment he could have them killed, where is the law?
Its about time someone or country take him down, let his people free. Dictators like him wont last, remember hitler etc? It must be hell on earth for the poor people of North Korea, if only they knew what is like in first world western countries!!
From a pissed off, sick of annoying oppressive twats like kim ping pong um!!!
Hey Kim? We don’t recognize dictators as anything other than dictators….and we don’t give 2 shits what you think.