A Love Letter To Every Dog Owner Who Lets Their Dog Off The Leash.
No-one likes you or your fucking dog.
It’s a cunt. You’re a cunt.
You think your dog is a free spirit. A maverick. Loved by one and all. Which is why you let it roam the footpaths with reckless abandon.
“It won’t touch you mate. It wouldn’t hurt a fly mate”.
You’re too weak of character to keep your dog under control yet you somehow think you’re a professor in canine psychology. You look barely able to wipe your fucking arse.
To you your dog is a cute little bundle of fuck, but deep inside it’s still a primitive animal and all it takes is a split second for it to transform into a rapey killing machine. You don’t seem to understand this which is why you still feed it Wotsits out of your hole.
You’ve no interest in looking after the animal. You simply want to fill it up with your own character defects so you feel less alone in this fucking world. This shouldn’t be allowed. You shouldn’t be allowed. It’s political correctness gone fucking gay.
You’re the reason why people should have to sit a test to own a pet. I don’t blame the dog. I blame you. You probably have 15 gawky eyed little cunt kids who run amok in the same way as your dog.
You may have heard me choking as I ran past you. I’m not asthmatic and I wasn’t sucking on an invisible cock. I was choking on an invasive thought where I pushed you into the canal and got nominated for The Pride Of Britain awards. I was preparing my speech where I thanked God and all his angels that you were dead and that you’d never trouble any poor cunt again.
You could have avoided all of this by just keeping your dog on the leash, especially by the canal. It’s different if you let a dog go in a forest where there’s room and no danger of someone fucking drowning.
If anyone is gonna drown, it should be fucking you.